Small Town Girl living in the Big City

Charlize Renae Kinard-Davis

2012-01-03T16:01:00.000-08:00

On November 12, 2011 my life changed forever and I experienced what my family likes to call "THE BIG LOVE" My daughter Charlie was born and true to form for her momma she didn't come into this world without a little drama (Go figure).
I was due on November 5th and my mom arrived in town on November 7th the evening before my next doctor's appointment. When we went to the appointment Tuesday morning I had expressed concern that the baby wasn't as active as she had been in the past so my MD scheduled a non stress test. Mom and I went directly to the hospital from my appointment and my amniotic fluid was around 9.3 and anything under 10 was considered low so I was schedule for another stress test on Friday morning if she didn't come before then. So we started the waiting game which grandma wasn't very good at. I had another MD appointment on Thursday and now looking back I say my Doctor jinxed me because she told me I had a 6 or 7 LBS baby that was in great position so once she decides to come it should go smooth.

In the mean time my Auntie Terri had asked what the number of the amniotic fluid meant and of course I had no clue. Friday morning came and we had to be at the hospital by 8am and in order to pass the time and have pretty toes for delivery mom and I were going to get our toes done after my appointment. When we got to the hospital we had the same nurse as we did before and while she was doing the test I asked her the question that my Auntie had asked me and she told me that anything at 5 or below and I wouldn't be going home. Then in the next breath told me I was at 5.3 and she didn't think I was going home, but she had to call the MD. I forgot to mention that this was on 11/11/11 so when they decided to induce me grandma got excited. I called Charlie's dad LeNorris right before he walked into a job interview and looking back maybe I should have waited until after he was done because I know he worried the entire time. We drove back to the house to pick up my stuff while they got the paperwork ready for me to be admitted to the hospital and checked into the hospital.
LeNorris had surgery on his foot the Tuesday that I had the non stress test so he was in a lot of pain. He came by the hospital after his interview to make sure I was ok...he had to see it with his own eyes. Then I sent him home to rest and mom and I started the longest wait of my life. We played cribbage and she made Charlie a blanket and nothing happened. The biggest excitement which wasn't really good was Charlie kept rolling over on her umbilical cord and cutting off her oxygen supply since my fluid was low so they would have to roll me over in different positions to move her off of it. When the doctor came in at 4pm on Saturday nothing had changed since we checked in Friday morning and she told us we probably wouldn't have the baby until tomorrow. So I called LeNorris and told him to stay home and rest since he was in pain. Later he told me he thought I didn't want him there and I felt bad.

So after getting my head around nothing was going to happen and I was stuck in the hospital for yet another day between 5-5:30pm I really had to go to the bathroom. Since I was being induce they had to check me before letting me go in even though the doctor had just been in at 4pm and checked me. The nurse was surprised to find that I was at 4cm, but said it was fine for me to use the restroom. When I finished and came out I was in a lot of pain. I asked for drugs and when I would be able to get an epidural. So the anesthesiologist was called and I thought I was in for a drug induced comfortable night...I was wrong! After struggling to get the epidural I was told I could use the bathroom after they inserted the catheter, but Miss Charlie decided it was time for her to come into the world right then. Unfortunately she didn't handle the contractions at this time and we had to have an emergency C-Section. After getting in the O.R. I found out the epidural didn't work, so after trying to restart it then poking me 3 to 4 times for a spinal tap and being unsuccessful I had to be put under general anesthesia for the delivery. Below is Charlie and my first picture together though I was not aware of it.

After being in the hospital for 6 days I was ready to get home, but after being let go I found myself back in the hosptial again the next day with complications. Needless to say it was a difficult process to recovery, but my little princess was worth it all. I love her so much!

Blessings!

2011-06-10T12:26:00.000-07:00

I heard this song by Laura Story a few weeks ago called Blessings.
The words go:
We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near?

What if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?

I wonder how many times I have been so focused on what I want and what I am not getting that I have missed the blessing that are right in front of me. It was a nice reminder that just because Life isn't the way we planned it doesn't mean God has forgot about us it just means he has bigger things in store.

The past few months I have found myself in the Why me? mode and it has just been the past few weeks I have come to realize the blessing God has given me. I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring or most days how I am going to make it with a child, but I know that if I leave it in God's hands it will work out how he intended.

So now I am a little over a week until I find out what we are having and I can't wait to find out if it is a boy or a girl. Everyone keeps asking me what I want and the truthful answer is I really don't care I just want to know one way or the other. Grandma and Grandpa Kinard along with Daddy are hoping for a boy. There are mixed feelings between my friends some say they think a Boy other a girl. I pray we will know on June 20th...baby needs to not be shy if it is going to survive in this family.

Blessed to be an American!

2011-05-18T13:29:00.000-07:00

I was spending my after lunch time looking through Facebook updates and it broke my heart to see some of the posted that people have put up there. I realize that most of the people that are posting have never left the country let alone spent time in a 3rd world country. I didn't grow up rich but I never went without and I can say that I never went WEEK let alone months without meat. My day doesn't consist of planning my one and only meal for the day. Most of the people if they do get one meal a day feel very lucky! So it may not make a lot of sense to many people because we have government programs that cloth, feed, and send children to school. Americans many times choose not to eat, get educated, or go to the doctor because of pride not because it isn't available to them.

My Little Fur Babies

2011-05-12T12:28:00.000-07:00

Well there have been a lot of changes in my household lately, but the one my fur babies love the most is having a man around the house. If you didn't think they could get spoiled any more then they already were think again. LeNorris has been a God sent when it comes to taking care of "the boys" as they are so fondly known around the house. He takes them for walks at least once a day and shows them a ton of attention that "mommy" just hasn't been up to showing them the past few months. I have yet to get a picture of it, but it is pretty funny to see my boyfriend who is rather large rolling around town with 2 Shih Tzu's at his side, but he loves it just as much as they do.

We are having a baby!

2011-05-07T12:26:00.000-07:00

Well to say it has been a crazy year is kind of an understatement. After returning from Africa I had a lot of health problems and after several tests in February was given a clean bill of health. After all of that I still wasn't feeling my best and after some encouragement from my Aunt Terri took a pregnancy test and found out I was expecting. This was a complete shock considering last month my OB had told me that this would be near impossible at my age....Just goes to show you that the doctor isn't always right. We keep going back and forth about the due date so it is sometime between Nov 7 and Nov 17. I am banking on Nov 17th and I just have a big baby in there considering that daddy measures in at 6'6.

What is Happiness?

2011-03-01T09:42:00.000-08:00

There are many answers to that question depending on who you ask. Today while I was driving to work I was pondering a saying that I wrote down a few weeks ago "Happiness does not come from seeking new landscapes but from having new eyes on the same life you've always been living" We are a very blessed people after my trip to Africa I am ashamed at the amount of stuff I have. Then I started to think most of the people that live in Jos Nigeria. They are just happy if they have a meal everyday, a roof over head, and warm clothes during the winter months. I wonder how many people here in America would be happy with just that? Not many that I know of, even the homeless and poverty stricken have more then those people do. The sad thing is we still aren't happy. Then add the job, the car, the money and we want more. I don't want to be so busy seeking the material things that I forget what I am really here for...to seek more of God! Enjoy time with family, stop and smell the roses, live in the day. I find myself so caught up with the worries of tomorrow that I forget to stop and enjoy the blessings of today.

Yesterday when I received this picture of my niece it was all I needed to make me happy. It reminded me to live in the moment and be thankful for what I have not upset over the things I don't!

Who is holding the bubbles in your life??

2011-02-22T15:51:00.000-08:00

I had posted a link to this story last year and today was touched by it again! I don't want to be the one holding the bubbles:

Holding On, by Cathy Huffer, Back2Back Mexico Staff
By Back2Back

Marcos
This is Marcos. Recently we blew bubbles together. I purposely held the bubbles so they wouldn’t spill. After just a short bit it became quite apparent that he wanted to hold the bubbles. I started out with a simple “no”. However, our struggle grew and I realized this little guy was quite determined. So I began my explanation of what could happen if I gave him the bubble bottle. He seemed unimpressed and kept fighting me for the bubbles. As stubborn as I can be, I finally caved and let him have the bubbles. Just as I expected, he spilled the bubbles all down the front of his shirt as the bottle fell to the ground spilling out on the ground around it.

Later that night God brought this back to my memory. As I recalled the sequence of events, He spoke these truths to my heart. Often I am like Marcos, wanting so badly to hold onto a situation, a relationship, control over my loved ones, a career, whatever it may be. As long as it is in the Lord’s hands, I can dip my wand in the bubbles and enjoy. However the moment I grab things back and take control, things begin to get messy. I find if I try and manipulate the situation around me when I know God has something different in mind, things get messy. I’ve seen it in my teen years when I wanted a relationship to last longer even after God told me to let it go, or when I thought I knew making more money would make me happier and it didn’t, and now wishing things were different with my mom and not wanting to feel the hurt. God wants differently. God wants to be in control and asks me to trust. Who’s holding the bubbles in your life?

Original link: http://back2backministries.wordpress.com/2010/10/19/holding-on/

Our team in Africa

2011-02-22T14:27:00.000-08:00

Bertke's Buddies

Back2Back Staff Kids

Jason and Will

Karen and Brian

Ibro, Brian, and Sunday

SSE Boar hole crew Ibro, Barnabas, Brian, and Casey

Inchy (I am sure I am spelling it wrong but an amazing man of God)

Crist and Eileen Hamilton

Maria,Daniel, JoJo, and Casey

The Guckenbergers

Jim, Diane (aka Momma Frye),JoJo, Jeremiah, Rashell and Maria

Follow up on Lydia....

2011-02-22T11:36:00.001-08:00

Yesterday at work I recieved an email from back to back with a new blog post and as I read it tears came to my eyes. I continue to pray for Lydia and know God will continue to provide..

Lydia, by Crist and Eileen Hamilton, Back2Back Nigeria Staff
By Back2Back
Let us introduce you to a widow from Jos by the name of Lydia. She had an accident recently and is now under Dr. Zamani’s care at the Doctor’s compound in the Kisayhip Village. We met her for the first time a few weeks ago when we took a team from the U.S. there to pray with the patients and to give them a live chicken and some food. Diane from North Carolina and Rashell from California were the two that went in to pray with her and get to know her better. She told them that she had to take all that she had to come to the doctor’s for treatment and she wasn’t sure what she would do when she returned home since she had nothing left except her place to stay. She was thankful to the Lord, however, for His provision and her beautiful smile radiated to show proof of what she said. She was so grateful to have women spend time with her and to pray for her needs.

Some on the team pooled their money together and last week I was able to stop in and pray with her and give her the money that the Lord had provided for her. She was speechless, thankful and smiling from ear to ear.

Yesterday at the village church, who should we notice coming down the aisle (on her crutches) during the offering but Lydia with the biggest smile on her face. She had walked down the dusty, rocky road from the doctor’s compound to the church (about 1/4 mile) with a thankful heart. We are humbled by people like Lydia – they have so little by this world’s standards, yet like the widow in the Bible who gave her last coin to the Lord, Lydia, with a thankful heart, is His treasured child and is being blessed by God for her faithfulness.

Lydia

2011-02-22T10:34:00.001-08:00

I think the reason I have had a hard time blogging about Africa is there is still so much to process. This trip changed me and all I can say is WOW! There were a lot of doubts about going on this trip for me, was I doing for myself, is this really what God has planned for me? I continue to learn everyday I shouldn't question God's purpose I should just go with it. If this story is the only reason I went to Africa it is more then enough. This is a widow from Nigeria named Lydia. She had been in a bad car accident in November and was still under Dr. Zumani's care in the Kisayhip village in January when we visited.
A little background on Dr. Zumani he is a healer he prays and God tells him how to treat each patient in his care. People travel from Jos to the Village to seek his care. It was a great reminder that God is still performing miracles in this day and age. As we talked to one of the Nigerian Back2Back staff he explain that a miracle is all these people have. I don't think twice about going to the doctor or hospital if I am sick or hurt and the doctor will fix the problem. I learned that I don't put enough trust in the healing power of God. I am not saying not to go to the doctor, but I should be also praying for healing and/or that God guides the doctors treating me the way he guides Dr. Zumani. I find myself so caught up my own worry I forget to give it to God.

The team that was there with us from North Carolina had donated money to take each patient under Dr. Zumani's care a chicken dinner.

As you can see this consisted of a live chicken, rice, and oil. I was in awe...I have no idea what it is to live with a refrigerator or even electricity. We are so blessed here in America. I would have a lot to learn if I had to live in these conditions. As you can see I made Momma Frye carry the chicken while I opted for the rice and oil. This gentleman in this picture is an Evangelist from Nigeria who drove us all around Jos taking amazing care of us.

Lydia touched my life in so many ways as we prayed for her that day all she wanted prayer for was her ankle to heal, but as we talked with her and got to know her she was a widow. Her children were in Jos and she had spent all her money to come out to the village for treatment. I went home that evening with a different perspective of what we think God should provide for use and what we actually need him to provide. I fell asleep feeling very selfish.
That was not the only thing I went to sleep with that night. I was starting to get sick so I pulled up my Cipro and started taking it thinking that would help. The next morning was Sunday and I wasn't feeling better, but I was not missing church in Africa. I have heard how amazing it was, so I popped another Cipro and off to church we went. Cipro on an empty stomach proved to be a bad idea and I spent most of the service throwing up. The first time I did it into the wind, but quickly learned that lesson when it ended up on me. I found myself sitting on the school steps praying that God would take my sick stomach away. Then I realized about 1/4 mile away Lydia was there with her injury and she continued to smile through it all. I decided to walk down that way to see if it made me feel better if nothing else I could use the latrine instead of the bush. I wasn't sure about if it was rude to stop by and say hello to Lydia or not, but as I got closer I didn't have to worry about that. She was sitting outside listening to the music from Church. We sat and talked, prayed, cried, she was just thankful for the company. It touch me in so many ways because I offered to help her out and she wouldn't hear of it, but she couldn't believe that I would even ask. I left that day hoping I would see her again before I left. I was blessed on the last day to be able to stop by and say good-bye!

Daytona 500 Winner's Trevor Bayne

2011-02-21T14:01:00.000-08:00

Yesterday afternoon while doing the laundry my boyfriend decided that he wanted to watch the Daytona 500. I was like REALLY? NASCAR is kind of dumb and I have never watched it in all my life not really interested in starting now. One the last lap a found myself cheering for #21 only because it was some young kid driving the car. Before they came around the final corner I said #21 is going to win and my boyfriend disagreed with me, but as he come across the finish line I jumped up and yelled "I told you so." That was the end of our NASCAR watching, but as we sat there and watch the race I told him I have a friend that just started working for Back2Back this fall and he was a Chaplin for NASCAR. So this afternoon I get an email from Back2Back with the announcement that Trevor Bayne was donating part of his winnings to Back2Back. I continue to read and it gets better he gave Back2Back a shout out on National TV..then it gets better he had been in Monterrey in November...so then I see a picture on Beth's Facebook page and there is Trevor Bayne holding the little girl I sponsor in Mexico! It made my day God always comes through in Big ways. We may never know the reasons why he has us going through things, but I do trust that it is for a bigger purpose!

AFRICA.....

2011-02-09T14:43:00.001-08:00

I never in my life dreamed that I would be going to Africa on my sabbatical from work let alone doing a mission trip to Jos Nigeria. It has been difficult to blog about this experience because putting it in words just doesn't seem to justify it.

As I flew over the Massive Sahara desert I could never have imagined any like it, it made me realize how big the world really was. The on the descent into Abuja I had my world rocked like it has never been rocked before...WHAT AM I DOING? Forget about the emails from the embassy the CAPITAL of Nigeria is covered with dirt roads and tons of campfires burning all around...seriously??? That is when the airport came into sight and I was thinking to myself there is no why this huge plane is going to land at that tiny airport. Ok not only is this all going through my brain but I was suppose to meet up with the group leader in Germany and fly in together. Problem was his plane had trouble in Ohio so it was delay, so yes I am by myself! There is another couple from Wyoming that are also on the flight but I have know clue who they are. All I can think it just get through customs and look for someone that looks like Todd Guckenberger (Todd's twin brother John was meeting us at the airport). Luckily Jeremiah and JoJo found me so at least we were all lost together.

I am still thinking this is a small airport and it should be any problem finding John, but as we passed through customs, got our luggage and were headed to the door outside I felt a bit panicked. Did John not show up because Brian's plane was delayed? All I could think is I do have the phone number for the Nigerian staff in Back2Back don't I...as we left the little airport outside I glanced around and at first didn't see John. Thank goodness he spotted the 3 lost Americans that didn't know what to do. Well Welcome to Nigeria!

Auntie gets to meet Lily Grace

2011-02-09T14:28:00.000-08:00

Well there isn't a lot to say about this trip back East except it made me sad that I can't get out to see her more. Maybe Auntie should start looking for a ticket in March. As you can see here she is quite the Character...I can't wait for her to start talking! I hope her daddy's potty mouth doesn't rub off on the princess!!!

She loves bath time and pretty much being Naked...I told my brother he might want to worry about that a little (hahaha). She is always happy and I just can't believe how much personality she has. Kyle remember how they say that your kids act like you? You were and still are AMAZING, but you are going to have your hands full with this one...all of us will I think!

So the new thing when I was there was she was starting to arch her back, but that is nothing compared to now...she rolled over for me the other day on Skype. I am so thankful for that because I just wish I could be closer. This way at least we can see each other over the computer....Now if I could just find a way to read to via Skype???

Sabbatical...in a nutshell!

2011-02-03T09:49:00.001-08:00

Well I am back at work and having a hard time getting off vacation mode!!! This has lead to my lack of blogging and the longer I put it off the further behind I get so I just decided to go for it! It might not make a lot of sense or be in order. So much happened and I had the time of my life! I spent the first week off in Monterrey Mexico it was the warmest week they had in November with the temperature in the 80's most of the week! Then off for a week with Lily Bug...time in Arizona, and then to Nigeria. I finally have my pictures back from Nigeria, so there is no reason not to start telling the stories!

God Has No Limits!

2010-11-28T14:48:00.000-08:00

Day three and we headed to a swatter village called Catereyta this is a day I don't even know how to put into words. It is one of my favorite days, but it is the day that breaks my heart the most! At 15 years of age I was worried about high school petty drama while these teens have 2 or 3 kids. One of the girls didn't want to come into the church and as her friend was trying to talk her into it I went and put my arms around her and asked her to join us. As I watched her it just touched my heart that she got food for her kids but not for herself! During the course of the day she asked me to take a picture with her son for her to have....I just love loving on these people!

You are probably wondering what that story has to do with the picture of the girl...well that is Luisa! Lusia is a little girl I support in Mexico and I could just write an entire story on how that came about, but I will save that for another day. Let's just say God had a plan. When we arrived at Catereyta we walked into the church and Rodo asked me if I remembered Lusia. Of course I gave him a look like he was insane and told him yes I remember Luisa! He said well she told me to tell you hi! I said well give her a hug for me when you see her since I won't get to see her this trip. Rodo asked me why I was so negative, you might see her today you might see her tomorrow. We exchanged a few more questions and I kind of let it go. As we got on the bus to leave that day I processed what Rodo had said and realized I had put God in a box and had many expectations about the trip. I was able to let those go and just fall asleep on the bus. We were eating that night at Pollo Loco and as I got off the bus Rodo got out of the truck and asked me "Rashell do you believe that God has no limits?" I looked at him and said of course thank you for teaching me that lesson today. He told me that he was glad I answered that way he said look inside and see who is there.....when I looked in the window there sat Luisa and I got to share dinner with her. It was such a blessing. I would have been happy that she has just told me hello, but Rodo had went the extra mile and made sure that we got to spend the dinner together. I told Rodo that he made my year it was a very special moment and not one that I will soon forget. I love that God has no limits!

What is a Ropes course?

2010-11-27T16:04:00.000-08:00

Sunday morning we got to attend church at Casa Hogar Douglas it was a really treat because Greg told the story of David and Goliath which tied in nicely with our morning small groups lesson about faith. After service we loaded up on the bus and headed out to a Casa Hogar (Children's Home) named ERJ. We were first going to do a ropes course and then play with the children. During the bus ride out to the site I let my fear get the best of me. All I could think was I just met these people and I have to do a ropes course with them. In my mind all I could picture was a zip line and my big hiney in a harness and I was starting to freak out a little. When we got to ERJ I was relieved to find out that the ropes course was a series of challenges we could choose to participate in or just watch if we didn't feel comfortable doing it. It was a lot of fun and pretty straight forward until we got to the last challenge called the Leap of Faith. Out come the harness and I decided it right then and there I was not going to participate in this challenge. As I sat down and thought about today's study, service, and the fact that is was on Faith. This morning I felt as if I had really showed a lot of faith the last two months leading up to this trip and if there was anyone here on earth I trust with my life it is Juan that being said why was I letting fear win over me now. I jumped up and grabbed the Harness and decided I was in. As I climbed up the the tree Rodo started asking me questions he knew the answers to which I found kind of perplexing at the time, but now realize he was distracting me so I wouldn't be nervous. As I climbed past Rodo and began to climb on the platform to jump I made a huge mistake and looked down....it was a long way to the ground. I kind of froze and wondered if I was going to be able to pull this off. Then I thought that the fastest, safest way down would be to jump with Juan at the other end of the rope. If I crawled back down the tree it was possible I would figure out a way to hurt myself, so I jumped! It was truly a defining moment and though I let my fear get the best of me and missed the trapeze I still jumped. That in itself was a lesson because even though I missed my mark I still made it down safe!
After that we had some special time with the children I got to play with a little 8 year old girl named Luisa. I painted her nails, we skipped and played on a tire swing. It never cease to amaze me how these children don't necessarily want material things they just want someone to spend time with and pay them a little attention.

My Heart is still in Monterrey!

2010-11-27T13:32:00.001-08:00

This young woman saved me. I had seriously considered canceling my trip to Monterrey Mexico over Thanksgiving. Not because of the violence of the drug cartels, but because my life had been turned upside down I didn't think I could handle the trip! The thing is I have been promising Carolina that I would come for six months! Both her and I have been counting down the days, celebrating when my airplane tickets were bought, and we were both excited for my trip. There was no way in the world I could let her down! I packed the night before and had a ton of luggage. So once again I was off the airport at 4am to catch a plane to Monterrey! When I arrived in Dallas I realized I had forgotten the team leads phone number. Normally this wouldn't have been a big issue but since I had never met anyone from my team there was a chance I wouldn't find them. Thankfully that didn't turn out to be a problem which was a good thing because Theresa (The team lead) did have my info but it was for my work phone not my cell so it really wouldn't have helped much. At the time I met the group in Dallas I didn't know what a great group of people I would be spending the next week with, but they were perfect in every way shape and form. I was very blessed to be traveling with them. As the plane made it's decent into Monterrey I looked out the window, saw the Saddle Back Mountain, and felt like I had arrived home. By the time we got to Back2Back's campus I was beat, so as soon as my bed was made, my suitcases in the dorm, and donation/gifts unpacked I was ready for bed. Only I wasn't so tired that I couldn't stay up long enough to get a big hug from Carolina! It was a great day!

Prayer Request!

2010-11-10T17:38:00.000-08:00

Today when I was driving home I was thinking to myself that I needed to send an email out asking for prayer in the days leading up to my Sabbatical and trip to Mexico.....then I asked Why don't I just Blog it out? I don't know if that is a saying or not, but I kept saying it over and over again on my drive home (Besides what a perfect excuse to post a picture of my niece Lily Grace). So here I am blogging it out!

You know that question that they ask you in a job interview about "Where do you see yourself five years from now?" Well nobody except for God could have predicted the route I have taken. Four years ago the mess of a person I was would right now have broken down and been admitted to the insane ward at the hospital. This summer I went on my first mission trip to Mexico with an Organization called Back2Back through PCC, to say it was life changing is an understatement. I fell in love with the children and ministry so much that I am going back to Mexico next Saturday. My days leading up to my first trip were challenged financially, mentally, and work was a mess. God worked it out to the very detail of sending my Uncle Tim and Auntie Rhonda to California to save the day by helping me pack and get to the plane! I can honestly say that in the last month leading up to this trip I have been spiritually attacked again from all angles and 10 times worse. I believe that is thanks to all the support I have received from all of you coming around me and just enforcing the path that has already been chosen for me.

There are many moments of doubts when I think I am doing the wrong thing, I don't know how the packing and shopping is going to get done, and even today will I have my work complete in time to walk out the door next Friday? I could go on and on and on to list the craziness that has ensued the past months, but all that would do is give satan the Glory! I refuse to do that (thank you mom for reminding me of that last week when I wanted to move back to Idaho and give up)! I am still on the journey to see how he is going to bring me through all of this but is a wonderful journey and I have found peace and a lot A LOT of GRACE through out this entire process.

So my prayer request to you is just continued peace throughout the next week wrapping up things at work, packing, and just getting emotionally prepared to go and love on the Children! I don't want to go into this trip so wiped out that I have nothing to give them because that is the entire point of this trip!

Once again thanks for your encouragement both financially and emotionally as I continue on this journey in life!

Losing my Small Town Innocence....

2010-11-03T14:02:00.000-07:00

It has proved to be one of the most interesting weeks of my life. Monday I had forgot my driver's license and ATM card at my house and needed it for my doctor's appointment that afternoon. I wasn't sure I would have time to swing by my place on the to the appointment so I drove home at lunch and let the dogs out really quick. At the time nothing seem odd, but when I came home that afternoon things changed. I noticed my blinds were open when I went to my bedroom and thought it was out of place and then when it finally hit me that my window was also open I turned around to see my jewelry box empty with all the drawers on the floor. I grabbed my phone and ran outside to call the police. Well not to go into all the details but they think that I may have interrupted them when I went by the house at lunch. They didn't make it past the bedroom...they took all my purses, jewelry, and my camcorder. It still gives me the chills just writing down what happened. No body was hurt and they didn't do anything to the dogs. Now I am looking for a bigger dog....no disrespect to my babies but they wouldn't scare anyone off they would just make friends with them and I have a security company coming to put sensors on the doors and windows. Growing up in Pierce it is difficult for me to imagine that even in a safe neighborhood where I live that this is necessary. Again such a blessing it was just material things and nobody got hurt!

The Day My Dog drove me CRAZY!!

2010-10-30T11:26:00.000-07:00

Ok it is not completely the Dogs fault...It has bee a crazy couple of Months! I feel that ever since I mad the decision to spend three weeks of my Sabbatical on Mission trips my life turned up side down. I only have 3 weeks to go and I am so excited to be off of work for 2 months. In that time I am going to get lots of family time and in addition go to Mexico and Nigeria! The newest plan that has been scheduled to my time off is I get to also go to North Carolina to see my Niece Lily. I can not wait! I am a little bummed that I won't get to see my brother, but that is just another excuse to go out there again I guess!!

About 2 weeks ago I was feeling really low and just wondering if this path is really the one God wants me to take or was I doing this purely from myself. I am learning there is a fine line between Crazy and stepping out on Faith....or maybe not such a fine line!!! I am a Control Freak so to turn it all over to God is pretty crazy for me, to only worry about today not tomorrow, to know that if it is his plan he will show you the way. Well on one day I had convinced myself this was not the path he wanted for me mainly because there was no way I was going to be able to afford going to Nigeria and still pay my bills. He always has perfect timing because I came home and got the mail and there was a package from a very dear friend of mine. With Card that in all ways confirmed I was on the right path and a book called "Jesus Calling." This book as a reading for every day and it has become my guide book...each day I have read a passage it has been calling me out on the struggles I am dealing with! This week it was so amazing because something I had been harboring for months I was confronted with head on!!! It couldn't have been more plain to me what Jesus was saying even if he would have hit me over the head with a baseball bat! The amazing part of this story is once I let go and did what God was saying he gave me what I wanted....specifically hours after I had done it. It is so easy to forget that even though his path doesn't seem easy if we would just let go and let him guide the way it would be perfect!

I don't know where this journey is going, but I am excited to be on the ride of my life!

Learning to let go of the bubbles

2010-10-19T20:59:00.000-07:00

This just touched me and hit home in so many different ways....
http://back2backministries.wordpress.com/2010/10/19/holding-on/

What you waiting for???

2010-10-12T19:48:00.000-07:00

I was reading my blog updates today and come across something on prayfordaisy.com that just touched what I have been feeling for the past few weeks....the song is Walk on Water by Britt Nicole and the Chorus goes like this:

So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities, they try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more, so don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes, and you can walk on the water, too

I was like...WOW! All I could think is" I gotta suck it up and quick before just sit here and let life pass me by"! Here is a little girl who found out she has Cancer when she was 5 years old...it reminds me we are never promised tomorrow!!! The cool part of this is the childlike faith she continues to have in God. I find myself praying that I have that kind of Faith! One of the quotes from Daisy on Youtube.com is "People are only one times important and God is like a thousand million billion googolplex important." Isn't that so true and yet he loves each of us as if we are as important as he is!

Pray for Daisy she Checked into the Hospital for 3 days of treatment today! What a brave little girl read her story at prayfordaisy.com it is an amazing story of faith of the entire family!!

Where to begin???

2010-10-09T21:34:00.001-07:00

My life seems to be a bit crazy to me at the moment so expressing this via blog will probably not make sense....but I will give it the old college try!

In Six weeks I leave for my Sabbatical from work, everyone always asks me.."What is your Sabbatical?" Where I work after every six years you get six weeks of vacation in addition to the 3 &1/2 weeks you get every year already. Since I have planned mine around the holiday season I have arranged to have a little over 2 months off with taking only 6 days vacation. Well what am I going to do with that?...I'll get to that in a second (I told you it is going to be a crazy blog).

Last week my Uncle Charles passed away and he is in a better place, but that isn't what this story is about....rewind about 10-11 weeks ago. Aug 18, 2010 It was my Dad's birthday, my first Niece was being born, I got a call from my cousin saying they are at Stanford for Uncle Charles' MD appointment, and something came up at work that was pretty important. This is where it gets exciting and I realize how much I have grown in the past few years....Cathy my cousin said it wasn't good news and wanted to meet for dinner. I had to run back to work but I would meet them at the place. As I was driving back to work my niece was born...as I walk into a very important meeting late because I had left early for the day, I forgot my cell phone was on and my family started blowing it up because of the baby. We walked out of the meeting and they wanted me to stay late, but in a turn of events I told them I had to go. I would email the information they needed later that night, but this might be the last time I get to spend time with my Uncle. For any one that knows me I would usually never do this in a million years There are so many relationships, friendships, and chances to live life I gave up on or ruined because work always came first.....I didn't realize how much I was missing out on!! And how much better things can and will be!

As it turned out it I have never been happier with a decision I made then I am at this moment at that time in my life. I choose my family over work. I realized that tomorrow will always be there for work, but we aren't promised that in life. I have learned that the hard way a couple of times but like the stubborn child that I am it takes a few tries before it really gets through. Thank you to those who did stick by my in those times and I hope and pray the others will one day forgive me for the decision I made.

So in the past weeks tons has happened my niece is back with her father in North Carolina, I not only going on a trip with Back2Back to Mexico, but also to Nigeria, My dear friend is coming from OZ to visit in December, and I really don't have much to complain about :-)

So Sabbatical....I will leave first on my trip to Mexico the day that my sabbatical begins. This is an amazing story because not only to I get to go back to one of my favorite places Monterrey Mexico, help at the children's homes, love on some kids, see some friends and just be blessed by what God has going on down there, but My trip was 100% funded thanks to the love, prayer and support from all of you. I have just been blessed and want to thank everyone who has come around me in prayer, finances, and love to make this happen. Not only that but in the last weeks of my sabbatical I will be traveling to Nigeria with Back2Back. Please continue to pray for me on this journey that I will humble myself and let God work it out in his way. I have a bad habit of trying to take control of the wheel. If I would just sit in the passenger seat I would have a nicer trip with a much better view then being stuck behind the steering wheel.

There are a lot of things that haven't been ironed out yet, but I know in time it will. Like I still haven't gotten to meet my precious Lily Bug yet, but I am sure there is a perfect time and place for that. I am praying that it is sooner rather then later! And as the count down is on to my time off work I just look forward to see what is coming in those weeks ahead because let me tell you I could have never imagined this story up in my wildest dreams! I will keep you updated!!

I Wish you enough....

2010-10-09T21:24:00.000-07:00

'When we said, 'I wish you enough, 'we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them'

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how grey the day may appear.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good- bye.

I see this email come around and it always reminds me all we need is enough. I think most people are so busy trying to get more that don't realize enough is right in front of them.

I don't want to ever forget that I have enough!

Back2Back Mission Trip....now on to Nigeria!

2010-10-04T13:35:00.000-07:00

As many of you know I went to Monterrey Mexico with a family group from our Church this June. It was the most amazing time of my life and I left my heart in Mexico with all the wonderful children. The fact that we got caught in Hurricane Alex only added to the experience, appreciation, and realization of an area in need of love and support! I have been blessed to be going back to Monterrey over Thanksgiving with a group from Iowa. Thanks to many of you my trip was funded 100% down to the dollar. It is amazing to me how God provides and I thank you all for your prayers and support.

Through the Monterrey Mission trip in November I will be going on another Missions trip with Back2Back Ministries (for more info check out their website at www.back2backministries.org) , but this time to Nigeria. When presented with this opportunity to join the trip to Nigeria I initially was not convinced it was something I really wanted to do. Mainly because of the cost, but as I prayed about it in the next several days God keep bring to my heart Comfort vs. Character. The more I prayed the more I realized I was choosing Comfort over Character, so I agree to join Back2Back during my sabbatical and spend 2 weeks in January. It is a very small group (4-6 of us) and we will be in Nigeria Jan. 3-14, 2011.

Now, all I need is the money to get there. We will be involved in fundraisers to earn money, however, I will need sponsors. Right now I am looking for people to sponsor me for $20 toward this once in a lifetime experience. This will go towards my Back2Back mission fees, VISA, donations and Plane ticket to Nigeria. However, I realize that this amount may not be possible, so any amount that you might be able to give would be greatly appreciated. I am currently taking the 2 trips mentioned above, also I will> be leading another trip to Mexico next summer, and God willing headed back> to Monterrey with PCC next summer. Since there are several different trips Back2Back has asked me to help keep track of the donations for them. If you are sending a check, please make it out to Back2Back Ministries or to me and I will forward the money onto them...if you would like my mailing address please email me at princessrk23@gmail.com and I will send it to you. (I didn't figure it would the best thing to post my address on a public website) :-)

I understand that some will feel more comfortable just sending a check directly to Back2Back if this is the case just make sure my Name is in the Memo line so they know who it is for.

The Mailing address is:
Back2Back Ministries
P.O. Box 70 Mason, OH 45040

I believe that with prayer and God's help my financial need will be met.
In addition I am currently donating all my earnings from Scentsy sales to my> mission trip from now until October 31st. Just go to my home page https://rashellkinard.scentsy.us/Home and click on the "Buy from party" Next to the Monterrey Mexico Party or Nigeria under Open Parties. All free items> earned from this party (full sized warmer, bar, and Hanging fresheners are already prizes) will be raffled off to people who participate. I will continue to update this event as fundraising opportunities are announced. I will do the first raffle the end of October and for Nigeria the raffle will take place the end of December

Please pray for me as I prepare for this mission trip and while we are there. Pray that people will see the love of Jesus through us and will be touched in some way. My prayer is that these trip prove to be life changing for the people of Monterrey and Nigeria even more than for myself.

Thank you for letting me share with you what will be one of the most meaningful experiences of my life. If you cannot help in a financial way, please help support me with your prayers. I mainly want to share this season and what God is doing in my life. I will keep you updated as events continue to unfold and thank you so much for your prayers and support!

In His service,
Rashell

Many have ask how much money I am trying to raise and I just got the following email
from Back2Back:
For your 10 day trip, the B2B fee is $1357.50 per person and includes everything while you are in Nigeria (one night hotel cost, housing, fo...od, projects, insurance, and ground transportation). In addition to that is your airfare, any immunizations you need, your Nigeria visa, and any personal spending money you want to bring. Currently, airfare from Cincinnati, Ohio is about $1300.

My first Video...needs work, but it I have to start somewhere

2010-09-26T00:13:00.000-07:00

Be the Change you want to see happen....

2010-09-01T16:02:00.000-07:00

One of my Managers told me this a few months back and I thought "yeah right I am only one person." Then today read Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Then about the same time I heard this song on Pandora:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7M7cJ4DydQ

And as I read that verse and listen to the song the thought came back to me "Be the Change you want to see happen..." I can either contribute to the problem which is usually the easy route, or I can smile at the person walking down the street I don't know, open the door at the store for the person behind me, or what ever little thing thing it might be. So many people choose comfort over Character and I don't want to be that person. When I think of this in the big picture it is easy to sign up to go on a mission trip to a third world country for a week, but how many of those same people that go on the mission trip turn their nose up to the homeless in the city they live in.

Comfort vs Character has been on my heart a lot because it is hard for me to smile at the stranger I don't know on the street, but maybe if I did this more often I would be making someone feel just a little bit brighter. When I go to the City and have a nice dinner why do I not order an extra soup and bread to go and give it to the person lying next to my car? Yeah it is only one person but in being the change that I want to see happen one less person may not got to bed hungry that night. Being that example to the 4-6 people who are with me at dinner maybe they will follow my lead and the next time they go out with friends do they will do the same thing influence more people.

So even if I only make one person's corner of the world a little brighter if only for a minute I am going to put aside the "yeah right I can't make a difference" attitude and try to be the Change I want to see happen

Lily Grace Kinard

2010-08-20T05:53:00.000-07:00

Lily Grace Kinard blessed us all coming into the world on her Grandpa Chuck's Birthday 18Aug10. She weighted 8lbs 9oz and was 21 inches long. I am so looking forward to the spoiling I am going to get to do as her Auntie! I am still in California, but as much as it is killing me it is probably best I wait to see her. My brother and sister in law are not getting much rest and he has to leave next week to go back to their home. I told the new mom I would fly back to the East coast with her which could be super interesting because I hear she has a set of lungs on her.

Thanks for the Many Blessings!

2010-08-13T18:08:00.000-07:00

Today as I walked out of work I thought to myself Why do I always let the "you disappointed me speech" always get me down? Even when I have done everything in my power to not disappoint?
I was asking these questions in reference to my Job, where I had spent the last month working my butt off and I had no more to give. Yet even at the end of the day all that I had wasn't good enough. As I drove home I wondered how I would feel if I didn't realize even though I had disappointed someone at work I didn't let God down? Wow no wonder everyone is so depressed, because no matter how hard you work here on earth somebody is always going to want just a little more.
When I arrived home I received donations for my trip to Mexico, so I sat down right away and got the Thank you cards in the mail. Feeling overwhelmed with love and support with this trip I thought "I get it! This is what it is all about" I forgot all about that speech at work and remembered why I am here in the first place. Working is a means to an end, but serving God is the means to Eternity with him!
It was freeing and I am truly blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. Thanks for the encouraging words and prayers through out this process. Also for taking this journey along side me and seeing where it all leads!

Blogging for the sake of Blogging

2010-08-09T20:57:00.000-07:00

As the smell of the fire stove has now left the afghan my mother knitted me out of my great-grandmother's yard summer has come to an end. I remember being a child and summer would last FOREVER until it would finally be time to go back to school and see your friends, only to want summer break again almost as fast a school started. Anymore I just feel like life is passing me by. I am not sure if that is something that happens with age or if it really is passing me by. There always seems to be another deadline, a to do list that never gets finished, or a trip you keep putting off taking.

With the anticipation of my Niece being born any day now if feel like that little kid who wishes that summer would come to an end. It seems as if we have been waiting on her arrival FOREVER, sometimes to the point I still think "is this really happening" On that note I can't even imagine what my brother is thinking....he probably weights about 140 LBS. right now. For those of you that don't know Kyle he is 6 foot 2, so it really isn't health for him....Then my mind races to another family member and then then next family member. At that point I have to stop myself and realize I will never be able to fix everything, life will go on, and at the end of the day it is the end of the day. God's plan has played out regardless of the fretting and/or worrying I have done through out the day. His plan is definitely bigger and better then I can ever imagine and the proof of that comes with Miss Lily Grace Kinard!!!

Do we need Social Media Detox?

2010-08-06T14:51:00.000-07:00

This was a question I was asking myself when this Wednesday night a coworker/friend that needed help from me at work off hours, didn't have my cell phone and thought that he might be able to catch me on Facebook. It was then I had to ask myself if I spend too much of my time on Facebook, texting, emailing instead of engaging in life and the joy of Human to Human interaction and conversation?

This lead me to a conversation with a different coworker talking about "The top 10 ways you can tell if you are addicted to Facebook" So of course I did what everyone in today's society does I went and googled it. I was amazed people really live their lives through Social Media I was dumbfounded....check out this article! http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/04/23/ep.facebook.addict/index.html This seemed crazy to me!

Then I started to think about it... you are not really required to talk to anyone anymore if you don't feel like it. All conversations can happen electronically in fact there are times when I sit at work and IM with my coworker who is sitting right across from me. It made me kind of sad.

In a world were Social Media has made it possible to keep in contact with relatives and friends from long distances have we lost are ability to live interactive lives? This will make me think twice before I text, email, or Facebook. Maybe I should call, Skype, or even have a party...

My heart and I are headed back to Mexico

2010-07-22T23:31:00.000-07:00

I just found out today that I will be going back to Monterrey Mexico November 20th-26th which is the first week of my sabbatical. I am going to work with some people in the next few weeks to see if it will be possible to set up something where people can donate to the trip and get a tax deduction. Please look for more information to follow. If you don't really care about a tax deduction you are able to mail a check to me or deposit directly into my account. Please contact me at Princessrk23@comcast.net for information on where to mail the checks.

All profit from my Scentsy sales from now until November will go towards my mission trip. Visit https://rashellkinard.scentsy.us/Home and place an order by clicking on the Monterrey Mexico Party. I will host one a month until I leave.

Also In September or October I will be hosting a "Buck a Beer" party at my house where you can get my special homebrew for a $1 or donation which ever you prefer. I need to make sure I have a large enough supply of beer to sponsor this party, but hope to have the date set in the next few weeks.

If you have other ideas for fund raising or would like to help in any of the events listed above please contact me. This will be the first of two trips that are planned for me. I will be also returning next summer with a group from PCC.

The money will go towards my plane tickets, back2back fees, and donations for the kids. I will be sending out of list of things to donate if you are more comfortable sending tangible items instead of cash.

I am so looking forward to this trip and thank you in advance for your support!!!

Easily Broken

2010-07-18T21:46:00.000-07:00

Not in I am easily broken, but my body is :-)

Friday afternoon I had a sharp pain in my left shoulder at work. I really thought nothing of it until I was woke up 3 times during the night....so to put it in perspective I fell off the top bunk when I was a child and didn't wake up. So the fact that I was in enough pain to wake me up says something. I still thought I could put off going to the MD until Monday until my fingers started to go numb.

Off to the Doctor I go because everyone is freaking out....turns out the swelling in my shoulder is causing the numbness in my hand. Well at least it is my left hand, I now have pain meds, and if it isn't better at the end of the week I am headed back to the doctor.

Gotta love getting Old!!!

Mexico my Heart!!

2010-07-12T19:54:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the delay in blogging about my Mexico trip...I caught a bug I can't seem to get rid of, but I am on the up and up. Everyone I talk to told me this trip would change my life and I didn't believe it until I actually lived it. It is one thing to SEE poverty it is a completely different situation when you put yourself in the middle of poverty! I told my brother yesterday I will probably never be able to vacation in Mexico again because of the fact that I am aware of what surrounds the tourist areas and the need that these people have. To the right are the people I traveled with got to know and became to love. We set out on a week long adventure to help children that have been left by there family and landed on a trip where we learned so much that I can't even be able to explain. Theses children taught me so much about happiness, love, and worth then I had learned in an entire lifetime. They just wanted to be loved....and around every corner my assumptions were proven wrong.

The first home we visited I fell in love with a little girl named Xiemna....she was full of life and all she wanted to do was eat play doe. We began our relationship with me telling her No...no bueno. I am sure this is something a little girl her age is not thrilled to hear. As the day progressed I spin her around we played chase and we made one of her friend who rarely smiles Gabe burst out in laughter. It was a life changing moment for me. A couple days later we got to go to an animal park with this home and I was kind of disappointed that that babies would not be going because that is where I had connected the most....God did his magic and the Babies came with us. Even though this little one was sick she had the time of her life. I have never seen a little one be so brave! It broke my heart each time I had to leave her at the end of the day she would cry and cry and all I wanted to do was bring her home with me.

The next day we went to a place called Rio3 it was a shanty village made up of swatters. We were taking a tour of the area and this little girl came up to me as we were walking and grabbed my hand...her name was Veronica and here she can be seen eating the food that we gave them that day. She was a precious little girl. The girls shown here in the red shirt spent the entire walk back playing with a balloon with me....she showed me how to keep myself cool and she giggled as she told me grande, grande...she wanted me to blow it up bigger. There were little houses a far as the eye could see and they had no indoor restrooms, but they were the happiest people I have ever met. There were two ladies who had lost their legs to poor circumstances and as we walked through their house I thought to myself "they must think this is a circus with the Americano's parading through their House." My perspective did a one eighty when the sister started to pray for us and tell us how thankful she was that we took time to visit their home....that we were their family and they love the fact that we took time out of our day to think of them. It was such an interesting perspective that I had never experienced before. Two days later their house along with most of the other houses were destroyed by Hurricane Alex. Even in the mist of all the damage and inconvenience they had those two women were still giving grace to God!!! They had so little, but it was an advantage for them. I think that too many times we as Americans feel so entitled to everything when the truth is we are spoiled rotten BRATS! We have every convenience known to man and yet we find reason to complain.

The next few days the rain came down as I have never seen it come down before. Our dorms were flooded, we were ankle deep in sewer water, sweeping the water out of the building as fast as we could, and no reason to believe that we would be leaving Mexico any time soon because the three bridges that we needed to cross in order to reach the airport were not available starting with the first on to get off the property. Ok I am getting a little ahead of myself....on Thursday night at Back2Back they had what they call "marketplace" it is a time to buy souvenirs. It is also a time that you can sponsor children from the children's home's. I had it in my mind that I was going to sponsor Ximena from Del Norte, but as I returned to the Dorms to grab a pen to fill out the paper work I found myself in a position where I had to stop and pray. I gave the decision to God and even though Ximena was not available I felt lead to another girl named Maria Luisa. She was from Casa Hogar Douglas which was one of the houses we had not visited, but I still felt lead to select her. I thought if I didn't step out in faith at this moment in time I would not do it when I returned to the states. Long story short I end up sponsoring both girls and Maria Luisa was actually at the house Imperial del Amor that we had visited during our trip and we had met. She is such a doll and I am looking forward to getting to know her better.

Needless to stay I am headed back to Mexico during my 6 week sabbatical I can't get enough of this place and what they are doing. I am also looking at returning next summer with a group to a little city outside Cancun Mexico next summer. Please continue to pray for the needs of this area as the hurricane has had a huge impact on the area. We were very blessed to get out when we did, but it was so hard to leave everyone in our "Great Escape" Viva Mexico!!!

Bridge the day before we left Mexico

2010-07-04T19:57:00.000-07:00

Crossing the bridge to get to the bus, so we could catch our plane out of mexico!

2010-07-04T19:52:00.001-07:00

Click here to view this video

My mom is more Stubborn then I am...go figure!

2010-06-16T19:21:00.000-07:00

Well I was holding out with the updates until my Mom sent me some pictures but I have come to the conclusion that either she isn't going to do it or she forgot. It was probably the later but it is time to update.

I am about to embark on a journey I never in my wildest dreams thought possible. I leave for Mexico on a missions trip on June 26th! I am very excited despite the craziness that has been going on in my life building up to this trip.I am going with 28 people ranging from 4 years old to grandparents and their grandchildren. I am looking forward to all the experiences, but I know myself and will want to bring all the orphans from all 10 Orphanages home with me. As I know that isn't possible but I am so excited to see the relationships build within our church community as well as the quality time we get to spend with these children. I pray that I touch their lives as much as I know they will touch mine. I am leaving expecting not to come back the same.

Sorry for the lack of updates lately

2010-06-04T12:08:00.000-07:00

I am boycotting blogging until my Mom sends me some pictures from Pierce....It probably won't be that long because I need to update my blog. I have been in the process of moving and haven't got a chance. BTW I love the new place!

My Life in Boxes...

2010-05-15T22:13:00.000-07:00

Well I am moving again, but it is very exciting! I was a little bummed leaving my wonderful neighbors, but I am in love with my new place. I will miss the living room in my current apartment, but the new living room is much more functional. The best part is I have a HUGE closet in my bedroom. That being said my friend Aftan made me go through my clothes today to get rid of the stuff I don't wear....She also told me to quit shopping which is good advice! Well I still have the kitchen to pack, but I will update with some pictures when I get settled in.

Donations for Mexico

2010-05-05T22:08:00.000-07:00

I am headed to Mexico June 26th-July 2nd to serve at 10 orphanages in Mexico. We are looking for donations for the children. My trip is paid for, but if you are interested in donating gift cards or money to buy flip flops and socks you can contact me at princessrk23@gmail.com
any help would be appreciated!

Cinco De Mayo Gift

2010-05-05T20:18:00.000-07:00

I had just got off the phone telling my mother what a wonderful day I had at work (and I was being serious) when I came home and found a bag for a food donation this Saturday with the Post office. I thought...what a perfect way to get rid of some of my canned goods instead of moving them to a new place. As I dug through my cupboards oblivious to what is in them I came upon a bottle of Tequila....seriously! I didn't know it was there and what a way to celebrate Cinco De Mayo with a perfect Margarita. I guess that will have to wait until the weekend as I do have to get up and go to work tomorrow. I have proof that doing a good deed pays off when you least expect it too :-)

Don't you make my Brown eyes Blue.....

2010-05-04T21:05:00.000-07:00

This is a song that my Dad use to sing to me often as a child along with leaving on a jet plane. Both songs always bring a smile to my face. Which leads us to our favorite song "Just to see you smile" which ironically brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it. The past few weeks have been very trying and it is kind of funny because it all started with one of my friends saying "you can only walk around the Valley so long and then you have to go through it." As soon as the words left her mouth I have been walking through the valley...sometimes I don't always understand it, but I feel as I have been learning a new lesson every day and growing in the right direction. I never understood why God put me in California and trust me I have prayed to get out of here, but looking back I would never have become the woman I am today without that move. I know he has a plan and I have realize I am not the one in control, it has been really enlightening....ok a little trying, but I have made baby steps that have turned into huge leaps of faith and for now that is enough.

Question???? Or should I say Questions???

2010-04-19T14:43:00.000-07:00

Ok I don't mean to be silly and stupid and I hope it doesn't come off that way...but recently I have been feeling that my heart is full, but empty at the same time! That doesn't make a lot of sense to me. The fulfillment that I get from my relationship with God and his unconditional love is the full part, but I still sometimes feel lonely and empty. Should that really happen?

Am I expecting too much? I am at a very good place in my life and everything is going great and I think at one time I mentioned that I was kind of waiting for something Bad to happen because 2010 has just been wonderful to me. So what is my problem and why am not satisfied??? Am I greedy? Will we always want more then we already have? It is just so tiring and I wish I knew the answer to these questions. I dream of slowing down and at the same time I don't feel as if I really do anything. Ok now I am feeling like a walking contradiction...anyone have any feedback I would love to hear!

Really I am going to have to deal with Monday twice this week???

2010-04-19T00:06:00.000-07:00

Well I have had such an interesting night....I took a nap this afternoon around 5pm and when I woke up at 7:30 I thought it was AM not PM. So I went through my usual morning routine, taking the dogs out, showering, getting dressed, everyone taking their meds, and I even remembered to pay the dog walker. Something didn't feel right when I wrote the check...I looked at my watch to find out the date and it said 18th. I could of swore that Monday was the 19th...so I checked my Blackberry and it also said the 18th. Weird maybe I looked at the calendar wrong??? So as I give the dogs their treat and carry down way too much stuff to my car (I thought I was early for work so I would mail Drea a package) I realized it was really dark out for 8am in the morning. Yet I still get in my car and head to work....what no traffic??? I call my Mom which is a normal morning ritual and she is reading a book....I ask her if my clocks are right because they say 8 o'clock and it's dark out. She tells me that my clocks are correct. I tell her that I am heading to work and all she says is you work too much...that is something she says all the time so I didn't think anything about it. I asked Mom if Dad was up...this should have been her first if not 100th clue that I thought it was morning because my Dad works Graveyard so he is always up at 8pm at night....still I got nothing from her. So as I am driving up Ralston getting ready to get on the Freeway I call my Dad and tell him I am headed to work. The first words out of his mouth are "at 8"??? I replied what do you mean? He says "Sis it is 8pm Sunday night" as those words came out of his mouth it all made sense. The only thing I couldn't figure out was why my mom didn't mention this to me in the first place. He couldn't believe it either, but then I remember she was reading a book so all she probably really heard was blah, blah, blah.

Well my brother Todd called me about a half hour later and when I told him this story he was busting up with laughter. It made my day to hear him laugh! See with everything going on these days we all keep in touch but it is usually through text, Facebook, email, or voicemail. I loved hearing his voice and as I laid down to try to go back to sleep I realized how much I miss my family. People wonder why I treat my dogs the way I do or go to such extremes for them, but they make me feel as if I have a family to come home to it the closest thing I have here. Don't get me wrong I have it great here, I am happy, have a great job, great community that cares for me, and nothing really to complain about. In fact I was thinking also that I don't think I have been in such a good place in a very long time.....the only thing missing from that equation was my family.

So yeah sometimes I get a little sad, but don't worry I am happy and I am not saying that to convince myself that it is true I am really happy and have wonderful friends. You know there is a but coming up....But had that story happened when my family was here my brothers would have been saying "She is the Slow one" and my Aunt and/or My Mom would have said "Well it's a good thing she is slow or we wouldn't have been able to keep up with her" and in the end we would all be rolling around laughing together because I really thought it was Monday morning on Sunday night. I miss that even though I know we are all laughing in our own little sections of the world I miss Laughing, Fighting, Crying or whatever crazy things we do together as a FAMILY!

I am going to Mexico!!

2010-04-18T09:25:00.001-07:00

I am so excited to be going to Mexico not for a vacation but on a missions trip the end of June. Twenty 28 people from my Church are going with Back2Back ministries to Monterrey, Mexico to serve 10 orphanages. This is something I have always wanted to do and never made the time for. Beth Guckenberger who serves with her family in Monterrey, Mexico came to our church and spoke. She told us of her journey of being a full time missionary and her story along with countless others she spoke of touched my heart. I walk out that Sunday and purchased her book called Reckless Faith Let Go and Be Lead. I came home and as many other books it set on my table waiting to be read. One night I picked it up and couldn't put it down as the tears rolled I read until about 2am when I realized I needed to be at work the next day. Her speaking and this book really touched my heart, but the few times I had tried to go on a mission trip it just didn't work out. Within a few days I received an email from my Youth pastor Tony and it was so random that the last paragraph of the email was about going to Mexico on a missions trip and to contact Dain for information. Well at the time I had only met Dain once and it was in a large group of people, but I emailed him and asked if there was still room on the trip. Long story short it all worked out there were many hiccups along the way and I could have walked away and not made the effort. I didn't God has touched my heart for these Children and I am so excited to go and serve them, bless them and do what ever God leads our group to do.

More to come as the trip gets closer we will be leaving June 26th and returning July 2nd...please keep this trip in your prayers. If you want to know more about the organization check out the website at http://www.back2backministries.org/

My Invisalign adventure...

2010-04-17T12:08:00.000-07:00

pretty much sucks, but I will have straight teeth for the first time in my life. I can already feel the difference in my bite and I have only been doing the treatment since the beginning of March. I never had bad teeth hygiene, but I was a terrible at flossing. Mainly because the floss would get stuck in my bottom teeth, sometimes shred, and sometime break. What does this have to do with anything? Well I spent my Saturday Morning at Walgreen's insanity buying $20 of floss and toothpaste. Even though I wanted to scream at a few customers "it's only $1 maybe you should read the sale signs better" who would have ever thought the following sentence would come out of my mouth? I love to brush, floss, and waterpik my teeth at the very least 4 times a day.....I am going to have great gum health after all! I guess as much as my adventure pretty much sucks I have got more out of it then just straight teeth.

Making Career Advancing Decisions???

2010-04-16T14:11:00.000-07:00

A career isn't what it used to be. Who has a job and a life anymore? If you want to make it up the corporate ladder you have to sacrifice some of your personal decisions in order to get the visibility and exposure you need to make it to the next level. Playing the career game means learning the rules and making tough decisions. When is enough, enough? Even when you aren't being asked to make the sacrifice if you don't you will be making a career limiting move by passing up on the opportunity. Oh yeah you always hear there are a lot of other opportunities that are going to be coming up. Until I see it I don't believe it because I have been made those promises before and I have yet to reap the benefits of those "empty" promises.

By now my Mom is reading this and freaking out...don't worry Mom I am not missing any weddings, births, or other family events. (I have learned my lesson missing Summer's wedding I will never live that down)

When Should I take a job that pays less because it means more or you will have more of your own time? How do I know when it's time to say no? How do I know when it's time to go?

Is it worth letting people down, not making plans, and/or hurting the ones you love to stay on top? In my case pay my Vet bills (just kidding kind of)...but when it's you making a living on your own sometimes you feel as if you have to do what you have to do to make that happen.

Can't we have a healthy Household???

2010-04-14T17:40:00.000-07:00

So as Sly gets better, I end up with a respiratory infection followed by an asthma attach which has kept me in bed for the better part of three days. The funny part is I haven't had a serious attack since I left Idaho, so I had forgot what a big pain in the butt not being able to breath is.

It looks as if we are all on the mend and should start packing our stuff soon. I hope not to get distracted by being able to stream Netflix on my Wii. I am going to have to get a little more discipline then this.

Also I have decided to go on a mission to Monterrey Mexico the end of June. I will post more as I have more information, but I am very excited about it. The only thing I am looking forward to more is the birth of my niece Lily Grace. What an exciting Summer!

Catch up! March/April

2010-04-11T13:39:00.000-07:00

I started my Invisalign the first of March and boy has it been an adjustment. Just about the time I am getting use to them the tray gets switched out and we start all over. It has been very interesting first my teeth were sooo close together it hurt to floss and now I have to about 3 or 4 times a day. Second I have a fear of public bathrooms thanks to my Grandma Helen and I find myself having to brush my teeth in them now. We have went from Grandma saying "Don't touch anything" to being able to brush my teeth in there BIG ADJUSTMENT for me HUGE!

I am also start to pack my things up once again, but I am excited and looking forward to living on the ground floor again. I am just waiting for them to put in the new carpet and kitchen counters. I will have a garage which isn't big enough for my car, but great space for all my brew stuff. I am looking forward to a new adventure and be done with these stupid Realtors bringing strangers through my house all the time. It amazes me how people have no respect for other peoples stuff. I am just about at the end of my rope, but there is a light at the in of the tunnel. I will definitely miss Belmont and this area, but I am not that far away. Besides the new place has a lot more room so I can have more people over!

The Art of the Homebrew!

2010-04-11T13:08:00.000-07:00

Well ok maybe not so much the art, but a big huge Science project going on in my back room. I am having so much fun with it before St. Patty's day I found myself in a spot I had never been before. I had so much beer I didn't know what to do with it. The problem with that is all I wanted to do was brew more....quick fix??? Have a party! So 909 Academy became the Homebrew Bar....Aftan and Jeff set up a corner of their house to look like an actual Bar. It was so much fun and everyone really liked the Beer which of course what an ego booster for me. So now that I have some room we are back to brewing and bottling this weekend. Excited to see how the new beers turn out!

It's a Dog's Life

2010-04-11T13:00:00.001-07:00

Well after years of being sick and the last few months of WAY TOO many vet visits Sly has IBD (same as Crohn's disease in humans). It has been a rough couple of months, but I think we can say he is on the mend. Right now he is not as energetic as usual, but they say that is due to the steroids. He is starting to come off them, but it will probably still be a few months. He will be all ready to go home for his trip to Idaho. Beware he can't have anything no matter how cute he looks to you. Feed Nick if you want, but the person responsible for feeding Sly will have to take him for a month and pay the Vet Bills....which mean I am just going to have to watch him like a Hawk at all times.

Sly be Sick once again.....

2010-03-05T14:53:00.000-08:00

But I caught it early enough this time thank goodness. He was just acting off and starting peeing on the floor. At first I thought he was being naughty because of Nick, but then one night he did it right in front of me then rolled over on his back…it about broke my heart because it happened again about an hour later. I took him in last Thursday and she thought he might have Kidney/Bladder infection and/or stones, but the tests didn’t show anything but an elevated white blood cell count so she put him on amoxicillin. I was really frustrated because I had just spent another $500 for them to tell me what they always tell me….his white blood cell count is high he must have an infection, but we don’t know what kind.

We had a horrible weekend he wouldn’t pee and he would hold it until he couldn’t hold it any longer, had more accidents, and stopped drinking water all together. So Monday back to the vet we went….she still thought maybe stones so I left him so they could take x-rays, shove a catheter up him, inject him with fluids and more blood work. They estimated this would cost me another $600 and that I should come back at 2:30pm so I could see how to inject fluids into him myself…FUN, FUN, FUN! So I took the day off and decided to go check out that place in San Mateo while I waited (I liked it and will probably move in more about that later) on the way the vet called me and she told me this big long story which lead to the fact that she thought he had a stomach occlusion and wanted to have the radiologist come in and take a look. I said sure whatever needs to be done…she said it’s going to be expensive (oh great I am going to have to start living in my car).

After a long day there were no tumors which I know she was really worried about and as soon as they gave him the fluids he acted like nothing was wrong (money well spent we should have just gave him fluids in the first place)…his blood test come back the next day to show that is Cortisol levels were low which suggested Atypical Addison’s disease. Short story long we are going to the Vet Monday to do a confirmation test and if it turns out that it is Addison's it will be easily managed…(My coworker's Dog has had Addison’s since he was a puppy). So now that I have spent 2 months rent on him this week and probably enough to buy a ford focus during his lifetime we might (fingers crossed) have an answer, so we need to keep the stress levels down this weekend. HIGH MAINTENANCE DOG!!!

The best part when I told the breeder she should contact the owners of the other dogs from that litter (the female from Sly's litter was recently put down and her symptoms were the same as Addison’s too) she blew me off and just wanted to know how Nick was….I really wanted to cuss her out, but I left it at that. I tried to do the right and and what she does or doesn't do with the information is on her shoulders now!

I love my place....

2010-02-21T11:03:00.000-08:00

Right after Christmas I found out that the owners of the place I live have decided to sell the place. They inherited from their father and just don't want anything to do with it. About a year and a half ago I moved in on crutches (and a lot of help from friends) as you see it has beautiful bay windows and is so much fun to decorate for Christmas. The good news is the management company that takes care of the place has my back and I have a possible place to move into. I will check it out in a week or two.

Well yesterday the Realtor had an open house so the boys and I headed to Fort Funston. It was Nick's first time there and he loved it. He has been acting better then Sly these days. Sly is having a bit of Big Brother syndrome...that or he is getting sick again. Pray that isn't the case. We didn't go to the water because loud noise scares Nick and I didn't want to freak him out the first time there. We will try again once it gets a little warmer.

I found out that the Open House went well and some of the people asked if we (my friends Aftan and Jeff live downstairs) wanted to stay. There is a lot of work that needs to be done so it will be interesting to see if anyone is willing to take that on and if so if they want tenants in the house. I just pray that everything works how God intends it to, so we will see how this plays out!

On most Sunday's I make breakfast for myself and today was no different, but I made my eggs just like Grama Papa use to at the ranch. For those of you who don't know what that means they were a little over done on the outside and the white was still runny. I can't stomach that, so the boys got a Sunday morning treat. I tried to get my camera as Nick pretty much climbed into the bowl to get the last of the eggs, but wasn't quick enough! It was hilarious!

Where did January go?

2010-02-07T09:46:00.000-08:00

My Mother has informed me that it has been FOREVER since I blogged. I guess me becoming an Auntie is old news to her :-) The funny part of it is that I have spent most of my time since I last blogged with her...oh well I guess she likes to see things from my perspective!

I spent 3 weeks in Yuma Arizona over Christmas. I was a little bit afraid I would get bored, but had a blast with family and friends. The ten hour trip in the car was not my favorite part, but it was worth it. Next year Sly will be drugged so that it goes a little easier for me. It is a bummer because he use to love to ride in the car and now he is a big pain in the butt.

I came back to California to turn yet another year older and the funny part about that is I don't feel that old. I remember laughing at my parents when they said this when I was a child, but it is true. I read a great saying the other day:

You're only getting old when you find that your regrets are taking the place of your dreams.

I love it because it is so true when you stop dreaming you stop living.

Well after a brief stop home I was off to Florida to watch my brother graduate from EOD school. It was such a great time I didn't realize I hadn't seen my brother since his wedding so we were long over due for a visit. Mom was there too so I haven't spent that much time away from her this last month. Kyle graduated as the Honor Graduate which I am told is a very high honor and difficult to do. Kyle's class started out with 40 people and only 14 graduated, so just passing is a big accomplishment. To do it with the top GPA in your class is BIG!

Well now I am back home and faced with the fact that I might be moving again soon. There is both good and bad in the situation, but I know God will take care of everything. I have good landlords who already have found another place for me to move into. Moving is difficult as it is, but then add the fact that I also have dogs and finding a place can become a nightmare. I will keep everyone up to date as the situation progresses.

That is the update for now (probably not enough to make my mom happy LOL) but I will try and do a better job of keeping this up to date. My goal is at least once a week...even if nothing is going on in my life!

I am going to be an Auntie!

2009-12-14T15:19:00.000-08:00

My brother Kyle and his wife Drea gave me the best Christmas present this weekend....they informed me I am officially going to be an Aunt this Summer. I just can't believe the excitement that has come over me. I never thought I could be this excited about anything....so now my blog will go from me blabbing about my dogs to me ooohhhing and aaaahhhing over my little niece or nephew. Drea will kill me when she reads this, but wouldn't it be cool if I got one of each! Merry Christmas to me!

Genentech Prom 2009 "Oh what a Night"

2009-12-13T21:01:00.000-08:00

I have not been to the Christmas Party the past 3 years and this year I was really looking forward to going. I hadn't gone the last two years because it was at the ballpark outside and I hate being cold. The year before that my Mom was in the hospital and I missed it, but this year it was back at a hotel in San Francisco. The funny thing was this year I needed to take a nap in order to make it past midnight, boy I am getting old! I just wanted to post some pictures from the night. I was wonderful to hang out with my friends and coworkers!

Catch up!

2009-12-07T22:33:00.000-08:00

My mom has been very disappointed with me lately because I haven't been blogging. The funny part about that is she knows what is going on in my life I talk to her every day, but to make her happy (because that is what life is all about) I am going to try and start keeping up again.

It has been busy since Halloween it seems like that Holiday sets in motion for all the craziness to begin. I swear that every year I am going to slow down and enjoy the Holidays more, but that never seems to happen.

I made my first Turkey Dinner on Thanksgiving and it was wonderful. I spent the day with a friend and we had a blast cooking. I have really been into cooking a lot lately....so much that I even bought a KitchenAid on Black Friday for a steal. This last weekend I made pumpkin bread and pumpkin pie from scratch. I still need to work on the Pumpkin pie, but at least I am trying. I need something fun to do with beets so if you have a great recipe you can't help but share I would love to hear it. You can only eat so many beet brownies.

Of course the Saturday (ok I got lazy and it was the Sunday) after Thanksgiving the Tree went up.

After Thanksgiving I had a presentation at work that has been a year in the making. It has been a rather controversial project so I was a bit nervous to put it all together and present it. I had been working on it a lot the past month and it turned out to be a really good story. I still pulled a "Kyle" and didn't sleep the night before, but besides that and a minor freak out with my mother I stayed pretty calm. (I can say that now that it is over I am so my Dad's child)

Now I am just coasting until Dec 20th when I go to Arizona to spend 3 weeks with the family. It will be nice to have some time off of work, but until then I have to survive 2 more weeks of work. This will include the company Christmas party and all the activities involved in getting me and the 2 dogs ready to go south. I am sure I will have stories to tell about all of that.

Halloween!

2009-11-09T11:50:00.001-08:00

Wow how time flies I have been wanting to post this Blog all week long and just never get around to it. For Halloween my department at work picks a theme and everyone dresses up. Last year it was the 80's I was still on crutches from my surgery, but I sported a Madonna look anyway. Since I wasn't blogging at that time I thought I would post a couple picture for old times sake. I am so happy that crutches were not involved this year!

This year we were "Heroes and Villains" which leaves the door pretty wide open for imagination and people didn't disappoint. Darth Vader even showed up to work and the only way I knew who it was was to look at my co-worker badge. It was a lot of fun. My Friend and I dressed up together I went as Glinda "the good witch" and my friend Nalene was Elphaba "the wicked witch of the West"!

For all of you that have watched Wicked the play you know that either one of us could be considered the Hero or the Villain. I think that was what made it so much fun. We got a lot of attention and had our picture taken with one of the Executive Committee members during lunch. You are going to ask me which one, but since we have become "Genentech a member of the Roche group" I have no clue who it is.
I can tell you one thing Halloween in Cali is much better then in Pierce. You can actually go outside without a winter jacket, gloves, and moon boots to go trick or treating! No need to worry about getting frost bite again. :-)

The Blog is not about my Dogs!

2009-10-15T16:14:00.001-07:00

OH my goodness as I was looking over my Blog today I realized that it has become about my Dogs. How sad is that? Well I guess I haven't been in a place to write about much else because life pretty much consisted of Work this Summer and work isn't something I like to Blog about!

Things are turning around though I am setting boundaries and work hasn't been my priority as of lately. This has been GREAT! Since doing this it seems as if things are just falling into place. I decided not to work for the Warriors this season to give myself some extra time. I am back in a small group with my church community and it has been energizing to meet each week. I looking for great things to happen this season and look forward to planning my sabbatical.

Look forward to more posts that are actually about me doing stuff and not about the dogs :-)

PS I even cooked lasted night...I was really tired and wanted take out, but I cooked. My Mom was pleasantly surprised.

I can't believe it is OCTOBER!

2009-10-02T20:05:00.001-07:00

Wow where does time go? As you can see the boys are keeping each other busy. It is fun to see them play together and it is so amazing how much this has helped Sly. He has always had a hard time eating, but now that he has some competition for food he is eating GREAT!!! He has never ate this well so having Nick has been a blessing! I have also started small groups again at PCC which as been so much fun. I have been so disconnected all summer long so to be back in community has been a lot of fun. I am sometime really tired from a busy week at work, but it is always refreshing to see friends every week on Tuesday night!

Work that is an entirely different issue and after a year of a lot of stress and a lot of tears I have a new boss. He has been amazing and has take a lot of the stress off of me. So all in all LIFE HAS BEEN GREAT!

This weekend the boys are going to the East Bay to meet Dali and Jean Luc and my friends Grace and Katherine will get some quality time while they play. I am so excited to go to Salt Lake City to see my brother be sworn in as a Lawyer. I am so proud of him for passing the Bar exam the first time. Also Mom and I are planning our trip in Florida to see Kyle graduate from Bomb school (I don't know what it is really called so that is what I call it) in January. I think the Fall and Winter might shape up to be even busier then my summer if that is even possible.

With all of that going on I am still trying to plan my Sabbatical which I am eligible for in December I am really trying to go on a mission trip. I really have Africa on my heart so please pray for me and the direction that all takes in the coming months!

Why another Dog?

2009-09-20T12:33:00.000-07:00

Well a lot of craziness has happened around here this week and many of you have seen Facebook and Twitter updates saying getting a new dog, not getting a new dog, and now this morning I have a new dog. Here is the Story....

As everyone knows I have struggled with Sly's health since he was about 8 months old. He is a purebred Shih Tzu who was suppose to be 12 pounds, grew to be almost 20 pounds besides that he his health is guaranteed until he is 3. Well I wasn't going to "trade him in" for another puppy ever. Several times the vet has asked me to talk to the breeder to see if there are any know health issues with the parents or litter mates. Every time I get the same answer "all my puppies are healthy nothing wrong at all."

Last week Sly went back on antibiotics after being off them for only 2 months. After about 5 days on the medication I came home from work and fed him dinner. About 20 minutes after that he crawled on my lab and was shaking I couldn't figure out what was wrong with him until I found his dinner on my living room floor all slimy and gross. I call the emergency Vet the night and they wanted to see him that night, but without his detailed history I didn't think there was much they could do for him so I waited to talk to his vet the next morning. After telling her the story she thinks that he may now have esophageal problems from all the digestive issues. I had, had it at this point, so I wrote the breeder a not mean, but not a very kind email stating that not all of her puppies are healthy that Sly has suffered most of his life. After the same old song and dance she was like " I will just give you another puppy" I told her I didn't want a puppy Sly needed to be my first priority I wasn't looking for money, a dog, I just wanted her acknowledge that this had something to do with his breeding. This was the end of about 10 emails that had went back and forth and I was just upset so I went to hang out at a friend's house.

When I got back I had another email asking who Sly's parents were....all this time she had been telling me there was nothing wrong with the litter and she didn't even know who his parents were. I told her and reiterated again that I wasn't trying to cause trouble just needed help trying to figure out this problem. The next morning I had an email from the breed expressing how very sorry she was Sly was from a litter where she used one of her friend's studs and he came from a questionable breeder. Grant it she never use him again, but she could have told me that from the beginning. Not only that but the black female from Sly's litter was just put to sleep due to either complications with pregnancy or a brain tumor....well since they think Sly might have a mass in his stomach don't you think that information might be helpful?

She was horrified that this had happened and offered a toy 1 year old white male to me. She said she would be sad to see him go, but she felt I deserved this after all Sly and I have been through. I told here I couldn't take him from her that was cruel. After saying this throughout a few emails she told me she was going to have to get rid of him anyway eventually, so I said when she was ready I would take time. She said I could have him now if I wanted so I said that I would pick him up on Saturday. So there were a ton of emotions going on now because here I have knowledge that one of Sly's litter mates have had to be put down for a tumor related issue, I am bringing in this new dog and feeling guilty that I am trying to replace Sly....I wasn't really convinced that this was what I was suppose to do. After spending hours on the phone with my cousin Summer and friend Grace they both convinced me that I was doing the best thing for Sly and for me. After that I started getting excited that I was going to pick up this little guy in the morning.

My friend Mark and I woke up early and were trying to get everyone else around. We had kind of planned a day of it since we were driving almost 3 hours to pick him up. I had ran into some neighbors (Carol) telling them how excited I was to go and get my new boy....15 minutes before we got in the car the Breeder emailed me and told me she couldn't give him up. I lost it!!! I was in tears and I felt my heart rip out all over again....I couldn't believe this person was putting me through this. Well the great friends that Mark and Mina are they refused to let me sit around by myself all day being sad so we headed to Santana Row. As we were leaving Carol had seen my status on FB and couldn't believe it!!!

During our retail therapy (window shopping therapy for me) the breeder started emailing pictures of dogs saying that she would buy me another one and ship it to me...it was just too much for me. I told Mark he could talk to her when we got home because I couldn't. He originally wanted to just drive up there and get the dog even though she said I couldn't have it :-) Well we got home from Santana Row and I didn't want Mark to have to deal with this. I went back to my place and I was going to email the breeder, but figured I had my emotions under control enough that I could talk to her.....BOY WAS I Wrong. As soon as she answered the phone I started crying again. We had a good conversation and in the end she told me to come and get the dog I asked her when because I couldn't got through this disappointment again. She said if I could come tonight she would do it, but do it fast. Mark, Mina, and I jumped in the Car at 6pm and headed up to the foothills at 6pm last night. We picked the dog up at 8:45pm and were back in the Bay by 11:45pm. Carol called at 10:30pm and couldn't believe we had the dog....we were getting it, we weren't, then we did...IT WAS TRULY A CRAZY DAY! I wasn't even looking for another dog, but after all is said in done Sly loves him and I guess we have a good story to tell! Welcome to the family Nick!

Belmont Police have nothing to do!

2009-09-15T20:31:00.000-07:00

I just had to share this fun story of how my day started out. Sly and I were on our morning walk as we are every morning and he was off his leash. This is against the law in Belmont. A kind lady told me to grab my dog, but at the time I thought it was because her dog wasn't friendly. She got close enough to tell me a police officer was headed our direction, so Sly Man went on the leash. Sly would have to do his business later because it is a $100 dollar fine. Well out comes our neighbor Chris with his dog Cooper and the police officer. The officer asks if we knew him and we respond yes he lives 2 houses around the corner. Let me add that Chris has lived in that house for 28 years and I see him every morning at the same time and place walking Cooper. The officer in a not so nice voice tells him to sit down. This kind of confused me, but I went on with my business. Chris told the officer he needed to get to work and the officer said he needed to talk to him...but after a long time went by (0k maybe a minute) he was not speaking to him. I finally asked the officer "Are you waiting for us to leave?" and he replied yes. I was kind of taken back by this because here this guy needs to get to work and he wants us to leave a public place so he can "talk" to him. I asked the officer if he was serious and the other lady joined in with me in stating that the officer was harassing Chris. After I asked for the officer's name and he refused to give it to me we were both forced to take a set along side Chris as the officer stared at us not saying a word. Chris and I both again acknowledged the fact that we needed to get to work and the officer said he was "trying to get control of himself" When he "got control of himself" we were lectured like 5 year old children and told the reason we had to sit and listen to him was he was concerned that our dogs were going to bite him....All three of them were on leashes sitting next to their owners not doing a thing. After he told us he was responding to an alarm at the community center he finally let us go. He did give us a card and of course I called his supervisor when I got home. The best part was his supervisor is an idiot too as he suggested that I could have been a female drug user trying to break into the studios to get money which was the reason I was forced to stay and listen to Officer Lewis in the first place. I am even smarter then that if I was a drug user (which I am not, making the excuse more offensive) I would break into some place that actually had cash so I could buy drugs....doesn't take a rocket scientist. Also if I was a drug addict looking for money would I have a chubby Shih Tzu puppy with a Coach collar for crying in the night? I didn't buy the stupid thing, but it is Coach and I am sure it is worth some money that I could buy drugs with. Then the supervisor proceeded to tell me that Chris tried to run from the officer which wasn't the case since I was there for the entire scene to play out. Trust me if Chris had tried to run he could have out ran that Fattie officer very easy (Go get another donut Officer Lewis). It's good to know that my tax dollars are being put to good use here in Belmont California in a State that is so far in debt it isn't even funny. To make the story even better I know a lot of the artist that work in the building and the reason the alarm went off in the first place was when they opened the studio up for the day the person forgot to turn off the alarm. Don't you think that might be the first place you check instead of Harassing three innocent people walking their dogs who live it the neighborhood? Officer Donald Lewis you give Police Officers a bad name!

Reminders!

2009-09-10T22:14:00.000-07:00

I love when I tell someone I grew up in Rural Idaho....they can't even imagine what that means. Usually it means you have about 600 people that have your back regardless if you are right or wrong. I miss that! It means driving 72 miles (a hour and a half) to the closest McDonald's, health care, and grocery shopping.....I have friends that complain that they have to drive 20 miles from the city to visit me. Really 20 miles is nothing....it doesn't phase me!

Sitting back reflecting tonight I realize how much I get caught up in "the rat race" and I think even more so in the bigger cities. I tend to get down on myself or sadly enough even forget who I really am because I am so caught up in the go go go life style that is around me. We are always trying to be bigger, better, faster, more successful, or whatever. When I am in those situations I dream of home....tonight the phones went out on "the hill" I couldn't reach my Mom and as I posted the status on Facebook childhood friends commented and assisted the best they could in the technical world to let me know what was going on "on the hill." On the same note I was having a bad day and I posted that I wanted to run away from life today on Facebook. As nice as that sounds one of my High School Teachers reminded me that the statement I made was not the girl he knew. I don't want to lose that girl and I don't want to run away from life I want to face it head on and whatever challenges may come I will face it. I may not always win, but I will always give it "the old college try" (whatever that may mean).

Chuck Moody, Cindy P, John Townsend, Kira Rolstad, Jeff Wright, Laurie Smith, Mrs. Henrich, Mr. Price and every other teacher and friend out there thank you for shaping me into the person I am today....you touch my life every day and I thank you for that!

Time goes by Quickly!

2009-08-23T17:44:00.000-07:00

Swollen Face and a Crazy Life

2009-08-01T14:42:00.001-07:00

Well last time I wrote I was so excited that I had finally gone out and treated myself to some long over due girly treatment...I should have been more careful about where I got my eyebrows waxed though. I let the nail lady do it instead of taking the time to make an appointment with my regular girl...Well let's just say I learned my lesson. Twelve hours after having it done you can see in this picture with my friend Bristol that between my eyes is already starting to become red and inflamed. Well the fun didn't stop there a few days later I thought it was a pimple and it really hurt. I had joked with a friend of mine that I had a horn coming out between my eyes. We talked about how pimples always show up at the worst times like when you are meeting up with old friends. I woke up the next morning and to my horror my eyes were super swollen. I thought I was having an allergic reaction to something so I took allergy medicine and went back to sleep. When I got up at there wasn't much of a change so I called the advice nurse and she advised me to seek medical attention soon. I saw my doctor and he gave me a topical antibiotic. That afternoon I took a nap and watched a movie, by the time I sat up and looked in the mirror my face looked like this....(which is not as bad as it was the next morning believe it or not).
By this time people are getting a bit curious due to my Facebook posts so I put this up mainly so people wouldn't think that I was cutting work and making up some lame excuse. Within about ten minutes my friend Karen who is a RN is on me to go to Urgent Care that night because of the swelling. It was late and by the time I found out where urgent care was it was closed and in California unless you are dying it is about a 4 hour wait in the ER. I figured it was easier and probably faster to email my Md and let him know the swelling had gotten worse. By the next morning finding my eyes was my biggest challenge and I was in a lot of pain since I spent most of the night rotating ice packs on my face. The doctor put me on Oral antibiotic that morning and about 24 hours later my face looked like the picture on the right which isn't great, but a great improvement over the picture on the left. It was two more days until my face returned to normal and I must say I will never return to that nail shop ever again even for a pedicure. I have an appointment with my regular girl Kimberly on Aug 15th and will continue to keep on schedule with her so that this may never happen again. I feel very lucky, it could have been much worse if my friend Karen wouldn't have scared me into getting medical attention because I would have waited longer then I did to go back to the doctor.

Lovely Weekend

2009-07-12T18:47:00.000-07:00

I can't remember the last time I had a weekend and didn't think about work AT ALL!! I was so amazing to just "have a life" and hang out with friends enjoying life! IT WAS AMAZING! I don't even dread going back to work tomorrow, so what did I do to make all this happen??? I went out with some friends to the city on Friday night...not something I would usually do, but my friend Mark is an expert at giving me a guilt trip. Going out with Mark isn't like going out with normal people...one night we drove to this restaurant in Oakland and when we got there were told that we were going to have to wait an hour and a half for a table. Well Mark went outside made a phone call (he knew the owner) and we had a table in like 2 minutes later. The funny thing is when you meet Mark you wouldn't think this of him in fact he is really down to earth and a super nice guy who grew up in Oakland and worked very hard to make something of himself. He has an amazing amount of contacts from growing up mainly because he is just a GREAT person. I don't know why expected anything less on Friday night....as we approached the club with a long line I thought to myself "what am I doing out after 9pm on a Friday night", but in true Mark fashion we walked to the front of the line and were immediately escorted the VIP section of the club. It never ceases to amaze this small town girl from Idaho the lengths that city folk go to or the amount of money they will spend.

Saturday I paid for going out all night on Friday, but it really was worth it. I ended up taking care of myself by getting my nails, toes, and eyebrows done. I hadn't done that in FOREVER either so I was looking a bit tore up! Then hung out with some friends...I was suppose to go to San Jose for a coworker Birthday party, but I didn't have the energy to do that. So dualing pianos it was and it was fabulous...again not enough sleep but the time with friends was much needed. I really need to get out more....

Sunday was left to clean up this apartment which was much overdue. Now that it is done I feel I can face the week head on. Tomorrow morning is up and at them early so I can workout before heading to the office. If I can get through the end of the month sticking to the workout schedule I might just be tempeted to sign up for a Marathon again...we will see how the foot holds up, but so far so good!!!

Insanity...

2009-07-07T20:49:00.000-07:00

Webster definition:
1: a deranged state of the mind usually occurring as a specific disorder (as schizophrenia)
2: such unsoundness of mind or lack of understanding as prevents one from having the mental capacity required by law to enter into a particular relationship, status, or transaction or as removes one from criminal or civil responsibility
3 a: extreme folly or unreasonableness b: something utterly foolish or unreasonable

I have heard a definition that I like better though:
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

I have several times over the past months said this and felt like I am doing this at work. I am trying to figure a way to break the cycle without completely losing my cool at work and trust me I am right on the edge most days. The funny thing is I go into these meetings expecting to get some kind of resolution and actually move forward, but we end up having the same circular conversation over and over again. What a waste of time...and with the economy in the state that it is now is not the time to be looking for a new job. To top it all off I am going to be eligible for my sabbatical Dec 08 and will be entitled to 6 weeks off with pay. I can also add my vacation time on to that so I will end up being over 2 months off....I think I can stick it out until then. Besides I keep telling myself I can use the time to look for another job.

So where am I going with this...sticking it out and collecting a pay check is really hard for me because I was raised with this crazy thing called a work ethic. I guess I am actually throwing out the question when is enough, enough and when do you just throw in the towel. I was also taught never to quit so in a way I feel like a failure for not making this work, but in the same sentence I am not sure it will ever work.

Santa Cruz

2009-07-04T20:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Sly and I headed to Santa Cruz with two of my coworkers Elizandro and Marco. We hiked around UC Santa Cruz for about 2 hours and then went to the boardwalk and checked out the band "The Smithereens" I guess they are an 80's band, but I don't remember them. It was nice to get out and enjoy the beautiful weather. On the fourth we went to my friend's Mina and Mark's for a BBQ. All in all a relaxing weekend. I am thankful for the extra day of rest tomorrow. Then back to work on Monday! I am going to take up surfing just so I have a reason to go to Santa Cruz more often :-)

Sly and Kona Chillin

2009-07-03T10:00:00.000-07:00

Last night after I went to dinner with my friend Carol I went to Mark and Mina's to watch Entourage. As we watched the Entourage Marathon both the boys thought they would chill with me after they got done playing

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Day at the Beach!

2009-06-21T10:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was suppose to be a day of nothing and a lot of relaxing, but Sly had other plans. After about 2 hours of him driving me absolutely crazy I gave in and headed to Fort Funston in San Francisco. We usually go to Fort Funston in the morning, but thought we would check it out in the afternoon. Plus I would be guaranteed a tired dog at the end of the day which was the plan in the first place. We got a surprise though because the wind was blowing really hard so we got a little treat of mini sand storms. Which wasn't so much fun, but we did spend about an hour on the beach getting some exercise.
Sly was really good and even though he wanted to chase the horses he listened to me and just watched them go by on the beach. All in all it was a nice day and everyone had a good time.

It could always be worse....

2009-06-16T21:16:00.000-07:00

I really hate it when people say that because it is so true, but this time I am just going to pray for good news. One of my best friends called me tonight and told me she was going to the doctor on Monday for a MRI because the doctor thinks she might have a tumor in her head. I would really appreciate every one's PRAYERS! The good thing is being in my family with all of the brain problems (physical not mental people) we have had I realize that the medical technology has come a long way. Not only that but God is bigger then all of this. Just remember her through out the week. Little Bean I am here for you always and forever!

My Person

2009-06-14T13:07:00.001-07:00

For all you Grey's Anatomy fans you get the the title, but for those who don't your "person" is your best friend. I have a lot of great, wonderful, best friends, but MY PERSON and the girl that has ALWAYS been there for me is Brenda. Who I so fondly call Bren and she returns the favor by calling me Rash if you want to see some funny looks watch when she calls me that in public. We went to college together in Lewiston and then transferred to Pocatello our Junior year. It was really the first time I had been that far away from home and I spent my first holiday away from my parents with Bren, we took a night long road trip to Portland together where I fell asleep and made her drive all by herself. A lot of times I will be driving down the road a a song will come on the radio and the memory of that song includes some crazy thing that Bren and I did in our youth.

That being said we don't get a lot of time together these day as she lives in Virginia and I live in California. We don't even spend a lot of time on the phone since our lives gets so busy with her two kids, my dog, work, and throw in the time zone difference sometimes it is near impossible to connect. This week was a long rough one for me and several times during all the stress, crying, and frustration the one person I wanted to talk to was Brenda. I never did get around to calling her, but as I walked Sly to the park yesterday my phone rang and guess who it was. See your person always knows when you need them and even though we don't get to spend the time that we would like being together or talking on the phone nothing ever changes between us. She always makes me laugh even when I want to cry....I want you to know I love you very much Bren! It reminds me that the simplest things in life such as a phone call have the biggest and most lasting impact on our lives.

Did you ever have one of those weeks???

2009-06-11T23:19:00.000-07:00

Well most of you know I have been pretty fed up with my job for some time. I need to remember that it has been a dream of mine to work in a field that might some day find a cure for cancer and I am getting to do that. I really enjoy what I do and it is super cool when a patient comes to visit the campus and thanks you for all the hard work you have done. At the end of the day that is all the matters anyway because if one person gets to see their son graduate from college or walk their daughter down the aisle it is worth it in the end. Especially when I have had several loved one's lives taken by cancer. Sometimes it's nice to be reminded that even though you didn't get that extra time to spend with your loved ones you are helping someone else to achieve that goal.

For months now (since Nov. but the topic really heated up in Feb) we have been having discussions (which is a nice way of saying argument) over the performance of one of our assays. You all know how I keep my mouth shut when I feel strongly about something so you can imagine the scene since I have always been convinced that the performance of the assay wasn't up to par. In Feb. one of the scientist called the data into question.....FINALLY today after about 4 months of discussions we came to a conclusion that something is wrong with the assay (mind you I have been saying this all along). It was so awesome to finally be heard and actually have Directors of departments agreeing with what you have to say. I must say that at times in the past months I have felt a little insane and wondered what I am actually doing at this job. Today I was reassured that this wasn't the case and walked away from that meeting feeling that I actually might make a difference in someone's life because I stood by what I believed in. Whether that is the case or not it help me to believe in myself again and realize that I do have a voice to make a difference.

Hopefully I can now quit working 24/7 and enjoy life a bit.

Home Sweet Home

2009-05-29T03:43:00.000-07:00

First off sick dog on a plane is not good even if he is sedated....I am not sure if it was because he isn't feeling well or if he would be like that on the plane regardless of how he felt. All I know was I had a lot of sympathy for mom's traveling alone with children because you can't just drug them and put them under the seat! All in all after a rough trip to Idaho we arrived in Lewiston and Mom was there to pick me up...needless to say she got a kick out of my nightmare of a trip. We were off to Sharp's Burger Ranch which is always the first stop when flying into Lewiston. Mom and I got to Pierce and as my Uncle Dan and Aunt Terri pulled into the house to see me it started to snow. I thought wow this is going to be an exciting trip...stuck in the house while it snows in May. Thank goodness that was the only day that it snowed and it didn't actually stick to the ground. On Thursday we headed to Boise to pick up Dad from the airport and then onto Salt Lake City for Todd's graduation.

When we got back from Salt Lake City my Cousin Tori and her son Jayden had arrived in town from ATL. It was a lot of fun to spend time with them, we went to Orofino to get Tori's hair cut and colored. (Yes she does go all the way to Idaho to have that done....I told her she was crazy). Aunt Terri and I went for a walk where we ended up getting caught in a down pour....I will never forget her saying "It's not going to cut loose" and then 5 minutes later being soaked through my clothes in the middle of a thunder and lightning storm. Sly freaked out at the thunder and lightning, Uncle Dan tried to rescue us, and we actually jogged trying to get back to the house faster. The two fools that we are danced in the rain on the baseball field...that only lasted until lightning hit the bleachers and scared us. We are probably lucky we didn't get struck by lightning. My silly dog is afraid of mud puddles so I ended up carrying him part of the way. As we stripped out of our wet clothes and I borrowed something from my Aunt to wear I told her..."I earned my Costco cupcake!"

I got to see a lot of friends that I hadn't seen in a very long time of course you always wish you had more time with everyone, but there are only so many hours in the day. My mom's parents were also at the house and Tori's brother Tyson come up with his family. It was nice to have everyone together where we had time to visit and we weren't dealing with some big event. Dad had a bunch of stuff outside that needed burned so we had two big fires. Of course me being the pyromaniac that I am got too close (OK I also had diesel) and singed my hair....the best part was I didn't notice until I walked up to my Aunt Terri to tell her a BIG STORY. She was laughing so hard she couldn't talk and I couldn't figure out what was going on...I did figure it out! Afraid of the bald spot I was going to have I ran in the house to wash my hair and assess the damage. This wasn't the first time I have done this and it probably will not be the last. By the time I came back out with my baseball hat on my Dad had singed his eyebrows and shortly after that Aunt Terri got her bangs. We had a good laugh roasted hot dogs and had S'mores....couldn't have asked for a better time.

Well a trip home to Pierce would not be complete with out a trip to the Orofino Golf course....and not that I have ever been a good golfer, but since I don't golf on a regular basis any more it is really bad. That being said it was a lot of fun and I actually was starting to get my swing back...well here and there anyway. Aunt Terri's new clubs are really sweet....maybe it is time for me to get back into the "swing" of things and buy a new set of clubs myself. Tori made a comment at one point that if she would have known that Auntie and I sucked so bad she would have golfed with us more...we really aren't that bad. Well OK maybe I am but the "short bus driver" in the picture to the right is pretty good when her daughter and niece aren't giving her a hard time.

Happy endings and sad good byes! As my wonderful trip came to an end Mom made Mexican food and my cousin Bo, his wife Lenne, my cousin Amy and their children came up to Pierce for the evening. Along with the rest of the gang it was a house full but it was just like old times...it's hard to leave that comfort. I never thought the time would come in my life that I would say I was sad to leave Pierce....but this time I was sad to leave Pierce. My life started there it is my home and every inch of that place has memories and most of them GREAT! You run into family, friends, old classmates, and I even made a new friend at the grocery store...people are friendly not rude pushing, cutting people off in a rush to be some where. They take the time to wave while driving down the road and are actually being friendly not sarcastic. It was refreshing and relaxing to be HOME! Now that I am back in California after I cringe my teeth at someone trying to be one step ahead of me I smile and remember how not long ago I was moving at a much different pace. It makes me really appreciate what Idaho has to offer.

Todd's Graduation!

2009-05-29T03:10:00.000-07:00

I went home for my brother's Law School Graduation from the University of Utah. It was a lot of fun. First I hadn't been to Salt Lake City since I was in college and it was actually a lot nicer then I remember. The graduation was great (you know for a law school graduation) and my brother was so proud...as we all were of him. I was telling one of my friends it was really cool to see Todd as proud as he was over this, because he has his BS and Masters and never had walked at graduation. Words can't even begin to express how proud of him I am. We got into SLC about 2am local time the night before graduation. Todd had to be there early so all of us drove to The U in Dad's truck. As we pulled up Krista (my sister in law) remembered she had forgot her camera and we were early enough that she could go back to the house and grab it. As the time got closer to graduation she still hadn't showed up and me being the worry wort that I am went out front to wait for her. My real panic set in as Todd's class began to walk in, I couldn't believe Graduation was starting and she wasn't here. I knew she wouldn't miss his graduation so I went to talk to her mom to see if I was worried for nothing, but she was concerned too. Krista had found an older gentleman who's son was graduating with Todd and he was lost. Being the sweetheart she is she walked with him instead of running ahead to make sure he made it to his son's graduation. Both Krista and I were a little unimpressed that so many people had brought children to a Law School Graduation...I was like "is this really the place?" then I remembered where I was. I was quickly put in my place when the class' awesome guest speaker who was from Africa said what a blessing it is to hear all the children crying and screaming during the ceremony....I guess we just weren't on the same page. She was really Awesome though telling her story about her struggle to be a Lawyer where most females don't even go through elementary school. After graduation The Kinard's were off to eat! As we walked back to the car the Coke man went after a few sodas that had fell off his cart and we watched (it seemed like slow motion) as the rest of the card got away from him and spilled. All of us in our dress clothes stopped and help him pick up the soda and the poor guy was so embarrassed, but at least we got it taken care of before everyone else started coming that way and saw him. It was a really great day and fun to spend it with family. That evening after my brother got all geeked out about his new lawn mower and mowed the grass his friends came over and we BBQ'd. He has a really good group of friends and I hope I can get back up to Salt Lake City to visit with him and Krista soon.

My brother and Krista just bought a new house and it is so cute. Krista doesn't let grass grow under her feet. Her mom Evelyn and her had been doing the landscaping the week before we arrived and it is beautiful. She didn't stop planting, watering, going the entire time I was there. It made me smile. Her mom is a ton of fun to be around....the two of us went in search of a grocery store and giggled until my stomach hurt. As we were leaving the store Evelyn remembered she had some onions in her hands we still needed to pay for it was too funny. On the way to the store some silly light popped on in Dad's truck and my first reaction was "OH NO what did I do?" All of you that know my dad knows as soon as I told him about the light he began to worry about the pick up. Thank God that we had no problems with it on the way home or since then for that matter...maybe the truck just wanted to give me a hard time :-) My mom had given me this book to read when I first arrived in Pierce and I totally got sucked into it while in SLC....so much that when we were all sitting outside Evelyn finally yelled "HELLO" to me to get my attention. Needless to say the rest of my visit home my dad kept teasing me and saying "HELLO!" It was a great weekend with lot of memory's and I can't wait to get back to visit....my brother and sister in law might get a bit sick of me and my dog :-)

Back to my roots!

2009-05-07T21:25:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time since I have been excited to go to Pierce. Don't get me wrong I love seeing my family, but most the time it is more enjoyable when we meet somewhere other then a place where I don't get cell phone reception or have high speed Internet access. I am headed home in 5 days and all I can say it is what I desperately need. Even though I will be going to Salt Lake City, Utah for my brother's Law School Graduation (I am a proud Big Sis if you can't tell) I will be spending most of my time in my home town. I think it is much over due I need to "get back to my roots." I think one of my biggest fears when I moved to California was losing my "small town, country girl" heart. I have had a rude awaking this week and one thing that came rushing to the surface was "I will not forget how I was raised or taught to act" no matter how far acting out of character might take me. I was very proud of myself when I stood up to my boss and told him "I was raised different then that" and I won't give that up for anything, not even to get ahead in the rat race. So as I sit and reflect about the world around me I am looking forward to having time to reflect on my up bring as I sit by the creek, ride the four wheeler, take a hike in the woods and count the seconds as time goes by slower then molasses in January. The cell phone will not be ringing, the emails will wait, and my job will go on without me as I enjoy the time with my family. And yeah I might not be a big fan of my shoes getting muddy, the cold weather, I might complain about being bored and I might need help starting the four wheeler ever now and then, but when you look deep down that country girl from Idaho is still there no matter how "Big City" my Mom might say I am.

No Cancer!!

2009-05-06T10:55:00.000-07:00

I got great news from the Vet today. There were some concerns that Sly had stomach cancer and even though it is unusual for his age it was a relief to know that wasn't the case. We are adding another medication to his treatment plan (for a total of 5 now), but am very happy that we are hopefully on the road to recovery.

I am hoping that the Meds will kick in quickly and we will have an enjoyable trip to Idaho!

Thanks for all your prayers and support through all of this.

Updates on Sly!

2009-05-05T12:37:00.000-07:00

Well we have had a very interesting Month the little guy and I. This little man has had digestive problems since he was about 8 months old. I thought we had the pretty much under control, but last month I started seeing blood and mucus in the poo again and knew this wasn't a good sign. He has never really been a great eater, so when he loses his appetite it really doesn't suprise me all that much. Off we went to the Vet and after reviewing his chart she didn't even feel that it was necessary to take blood since we have been down this road so many time. This time it was two different antibiotics for two weeks and let me tell you it work because this guy ate like a champ. He ate like I have never seen him eat before, so I thought well this time it worked. After the course of antibiotics he continued to do well until about the 7th day and I notice a lose of appetite again. This was on Sunday and by Tuesday he was barely eating again, I stopped by my friends Ruby and Leo after work and Sly wouldn't eat. He ended up throwing up that night, but I didn't think a lot about it because this was pretty normal in his life. Just to be safe though I called the Vet Wednesday morning and asked what she thought. We were back to the Chicken and rice diet which I am not a big fan of since I don't even cook for myself and now I am cooking for the dog. I knew it wasn't a good sign when he stopped eating the Chicken and Rice. On Friday I made an appointment with the Vet for Monday because our usual vet wasn't in on Friday. Things weren't out of control so I thought we could wait until then....I was kind of wrong. He did eat ok on Friday, but Saturday that came to a hault. We went for a walk at Genentech and when he did his business I knew everything was not ok....the crazy thing about all of this for the most part he acted normal with the exception of not eating. He was still running around playing with the toys everything and even ate pretty well Saturday night. That wasn't the case Sunday when I woke up to bloody vomit in the bathroom. We chilled Sunday and before we went to the vet Monday morning we had blood coming out both directions, but his demeanor was still ok. I told the vet she wasn't going to believe me that he was sick. That was until she took his temp...the temp was fine but the thermometer was covered in blood. I left him at the hospital for testing (xrays and blood work) and was suppose to pick him up at 2:30pm. When I got the call at 12:30pm I knew it couldn't be good news...Sly was going have a special kind of xray to determine if he had a foreign body in his stomach. The Vet didn't seem to think that was the case, but she wanted to be sure. When I picked him up at 5:00pm he was so excited to see me he had a pretty rough day. The conclusions of the xrays were that both his stomach and intestinal walls are about 3 times the size they should be. His gastrointestinal tract is showing signs of abnormality and there is something in his stomach which they are not sure if it is abnormal folding in the stomach or exactly what it is. She stops short of saying a tumor especially since the blood work is not back. I did ask about Stomach Cancer and it is one of her concerns, but since he is so young would like to believe that isn't the case. For now we are taking four different types of meds which is very interesting because he won't eat food so you can imagine the fun we are having pushing pills down his throat. I have got him to eat a little bit of food today (scrambled eggs and some beef steak)...he won't have anything to do with chicken or rice, so we are trying potatoes which are a little bit better. I should have the blood tests back today or tomorrow and hopefully they will bring good new for Sly. Until then we will take baby steps to getting him to eat a little more food and get him ready for our trip to Idaho. The Vet thinks it will be less stressful for him to come with me on the plane then to be away from me for 2 weeks.....This could be a lot of fun! Keep us in your prayers and I will continue to keep you updated on the situation. The Vet just can't believe that he doesn't get upset when you touch his stomach and how well he is acting with all of this going on...he has been such a good boy through all of this.

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Baseball!

2009-04-27T13:10:00.000-07:00

This last weekend was spent at the ball park and I forgot how happy that time makes me. The weather was great, my friend Dayna was down from Sacramento and we started out in seats that were great (as you can see in the picture to the right). I always joke with my mom about becoming a seat snob because when I first moved to California I was just excited to be at the game. As time went by that changed first I started dating Geremi and and since he was at the ball park every day when we were together that usually ment I was also....the good part about that was he always got me great seats. When we broke up going back to sitting in the cheap seats was kind of painful so I started paying the extra money to sit in the better seats at baseball games. Then Dayna started working for the Kings and it went from bad to worse because now NBA games were not the same when you sit in the the upper deck. Thank goodness for those connections (LOL)...One of Dayna's bosses text messaged her minutes before opening pitch and told her there were tickets at will call for her.

As you can see in the picture with Giambi's back in it the seats were right on the field on the first base line....HOW AM I GOING TO GO BACK TO SITTING IN THE STANDS?

Just kidding I just enjoy being at the game. I did learn my lesson when my mom came to watch the Cubs play against the SF Giants....don't sit in the good seats the first night then take her out to the bleachers the second night because when it gets cold we will want to go home since the seats aren't as good as the ones we were sitting in the night before. Yes I am turning my Mother into a seat snob too!!!

April Showers Bring May Flowers!!!

2009-04-27T09:16:00.001-07:00

I think my Grandma Helen used to say that to me a lot then on May Day (May 1st) I remember picking the wild flowers that the rain had made and taking them to one of our neighbors in Judgetown. I think the excitement of going home in 2 weeks coupled with the fact that this month has been tough has brought back a lot of reflection of childhood! It makes me smile that when I was in High school I couldn't wait to get the out of Pierce I was going anywhere but there. Now I cherish every moment that I had there. I remember thinking about graduating from High School a year early and Nick Ausman sat me down in the High School Gym and told me that I didn't realize it now, but I would look back and wish I hadn't missed out on that last year of high school. He was right (Like most adults usually are)! It is hard to explain to someone who has never been where I grew up, but it was an almost magical place and time. What do I mean by that? Well I don't think I would ever want to make Pierce my permanent residence ever again, but it is always going to be home. It was a very different way to grow up and even though I didn't always like it then I really appreciate it now. Getting in touch with some of my old friends has made me remember you can't take away any of those moments of swimming in the creek, playing in the woods until dark, or golfing all summer long with my Aunt and Grandpa for $75. I would be lucky to get 2 rounds of 18 for that price now :-). I guess what my short story made long was trying to say I am looking forward to going home....only 2 weeks to go. I am sure 24 hours into the trip I will be ready to "go back to where things are normal" but I am looking forward to spending time with family and friends. Who cares that they don't have an ATM machine there isn't anything to buy in the first place :-)

Updates

2009-04-07T21:55:00.000-07:00

Well a lot has gone on since my last post but the most important thing is that yesterday was opening day of Baseball season (ok that isn't the most important thing, but it makes me smile)!

On March 25th the company I work for Genentech was bought out by a privately owned Swiss company Roche. Everyone wants to know what that means...at the moment I don't know! Prior to the buyout Roche actually already owned 56% of our publicly traded stock, so technically they already owned us. So now DNA is no longer traded on Wall Street and we will continue to operate under the name of Genentech in the US. From what I have heard so far it seems highly likely I will still have a job at the end of the year, but nothing is set in stone. I will keep you up to date.

I keep telling Mom that if I do get laid off I am going to move to Idaho with her and Dad until I figure things out. Of course Dad is thrilled and I think Mom is secretly praying that I am joking!! (Good thing that Aunt Terri said I always had a room at her house) I keep saying that I have been thinking about a career change and this would be my perfect opportunity to become a Baseball Scout :-)

Another reason for the delay in blog postings is Mr. Sly Man has once again fallen ill. I am hoping we have found the cause of it...Colitis but I am not holding my breath until he comes off of both antibiotics and is eating without problems again. The funny thing is (or not so funny thing) when I take him to the vet the first thing out of their mouth is "He doesn't act sick" that of course is before they look in the bag I brought with me. The crazy dog loves going to the Vet and if I didn't know better I would think that he "pretends" to be sick just so he can go in.

Looking forward to Easter Weekend...

Address in the Stars!!

2009-03-21T01:23:00.001-07:00

I heard this song on the way back from the Warriors game tonight and fell in love with it....

verse 1: i stumbled across your picture today i could barely breathe the moment stopped me cold and grabbed me like a thief i dialed your number but you wouldnt be there i knew the whole time but its still not fair i just wanted to hear your voice i just needed to hear your voice

chorus: what do i do with all i need to say so much i wanna tell you everyday though it breaks my heart i cry these tears in the dark i write these letters to you but they get lost in the blue cause theres no address in the stars

verse 2: now im drivin through the pitch black dark im screaming at the sky oh cause it hurts so bad everybody tells me oh all i need is time then the mornin rolls in and it hits me again light aint nothin but a lie

chorus: what do i do with all i need to say so much i wanna tell you everyday though it breaks my heart i cry these tears in the dark i write these letters to you but they get lost in the blue cause theres no address in the stars

verse 3: without you here with me i dont know what to do id give anything just to talk to you though it breaks my heart oh it breaks my heart all i can do is write these letters to you but theres no address in the stars

What If????

2009-03-16T22:58:00.000-07:00

I am not a one who is big about dwelling on this question "What If?", but lately it has been in my head a lot. I believe that things happen for a reason and that there is a season for everything, so when this question started popping up in my head it really has been bothering me. Am I questioning God's Plan for my life? I don't think that is it, but I have really been convicted about what a control freak I am. I need to let that go...but for now I will get back on topic!!!

What if...well I think a lot of it has to do with the one year anniversary of Jeremi's death. It is just amazing to me how someone can come into your life for such a short period of time and have such a BIG IMPACT on it. I met Jeremi about a year after getting out of a 3 1/2 year long miserable relationship. My self esteem was in the gutter and Beer had become one if not the only major food group in my life. My friends were worried, I cried, I drank to stop crying which would lead me to cry even more which lead me to drink more...you get the picture. I was on a downhill spiral and I didn't know which way was up. One weekend in an attempt to cheer my friend's son up I took all of us to a baseball game where I met Jeremi for the first time. When I first met him I really thought it was a weekend of fun and baseball, but it turned out to be a year long romance that taught me a lot about myself. Up until that point I really let people determine the way I felt about myself...was I good enough, pretty enough, smart enough....I let the outside world tell me what I was. Jeremi showed me to be ME no matter what others thought...I think that is what I miss about him the most. Well that and he always made me laugh. When I was with him I felt like a Queen and that we were the only two people in the world. He realized what was important to me and was interested in that too whether it was my family or the work. Things did come to an end...the Baseball lifestyle of seeing each other once a month wasn't for me and I wasn't ready to give up my career to be with him all the time, so we parted ways. It wasn't the last time our paths crossed though. It is very interesting that he popped back into my life at the end of a very messy break up with "cube dude." His timing was impeccable and just what I needed at that point in time. Wouldn't you know it he showed up out of the blue again totally unexpected. If I would have know that would be the last time we would meet in person on this earth there are a lot of things I would have said to him that I didn't say.

Lesson learned we aren't promised tomorrow so don't let things go unsaid that need to be heard. You never know if that was the one thing that person needed in their life at that moment in time. Did Jeremi know how much he means to me? That I will never know and if I had it to do all over again there are some things I would have done differently....I don't say that about a lot of things because I believe that experiences form us into the people we become. I do know that he was a ray of light in one of the darkest moments in my life and I always thought our paths would cross again some day so that I could thank him for that. God had a different plan and I trust it is the best one for me. Even so my heart still aches and tears fall from my eyes when the question WHAT IF....enters my brain when it comes to Jeremi Gonzalez.

How Time Flies....

2009-03-14T18:37:00.000-07:00

Well it has been a long time since I got on here and updated everyone with what is going on in my life. The past two months at work have been very challenging as the project that I am working on filed an IND submission to the FDA this last Friday. What that means for me was several reports (5 to be exact) that needed reviewing, revised, reviewed again, justified why the results were interrupted the way they were then revised and reviewed again. Getting final signatures two weeks ago which was only 2 weeks behind when they were originally suppose to be done. Through all of this I learned a lot, about myself, my coworkers, and just how everyone on that team came together and really supported one another to make it all come together. It was a lot of hard work, but something I am actually really proud of.

Just as I thought things at work were starting to settle down this last week we got new that Genentech (the company I work for) and Roche (our Swiss counterpart) agreed to a merger. I am really sad about this because I really like the company I work for as it is. We were not in any kind of trouble...Roche just got Greedy and wanted to make more money off GNE then it already does. The part I really have a hard time with is not knowing what will happen next. I had found myself in a very unique situation considering the economy. I really haven't had to worry about job security....well until this week. It puts life in an entirely new perspective. I will be ok no matter what happens, but just not knowing really drives me crazy. It is very unsettling and there are so many people going through it. So it will be interesting to see what the next few months bring.

When and what makes you feel afraid???

2009-02-21T15:36:00.000-08:00

This very interesting question or questions you might say has been brought up to me several times this month. It has really made me think and feel very fortunate that I don't feel afraid that often. Especially in the state that the world is in today. I do have one HUGE fear. That is the fear of losing a part of me and forgetting where I come from. Moving to California from Idaho was a big change for me. I grew up in a town of ~600 people where there wasn't even a stop light. Everyone knew you and looked out for you...that or they waited for you to screw up so they could be the ones to tell your parents. The cool thing about all of it was everyone was really down to earth. They say there is safety in numbers and when I look at it from that perspective even though 600 people is small for the size of a town it is HUGE when it comes down to the number of people that have your back. Yeah not everyone would have my back but a big majority of the people would and to me that is saying something!! So even though I drive 10 minutes to the doctor’s office instead of and 1 hour and a half and I could have McDonald's for every meal now. I wouldn't want to lose that small down girl from Idaho who really cares about people more then the things she has, the job she does or money she spends. So to all my homies if you see that girl drifting away feel free to give me a swift kick in the head!!! And to my mom… I might be "cityfied", but I am an Idaho girl at heart and always will be :-)

God Bless America!!!

2009-02-16T21:20:00.000-08:00

This week my brother reenlisted in the Army and while I support his decision I realize I have mixed emotions about it. I thought that it wouldn't really bother me in the way that is has, but I guess it has brought to the surface everything that went on in the four years he served prior to this. I didn't realize the relief I felt when someone would tell me that their son, daughter, husband, etc. was going to the Middle East knowing that I had been there and done that and Kyle lived to tell me about it. I also know that not every solider is a fortunate as my brother is to have returned home. I am very PROUD of this young man that stands by his country and has a desire to serve to keep me and our family safe. I also know he has been through so much that I can't even imagine and am thankful I don't have to. I hope he knows that I will always be here for the 3am text messages or the calls that might not bring good news. I pray that we don't have to fly him home again from the Middle East for a family emergency, but I know that if any of that happens that we will get through it together. As a family like we always have. I love my baby brother so very much and am the proud sister of a very special American Solider!!!

OLD FRIENDS!!!

2009-02-13T21:57:00.000-08:00

I wrote in my last post how Facebook was reconnecting me with old friends and among the pleasant surprises one hit home more then most. When I was in college I spent my summers working at the local plywood mill to earn money to go to college....it was hard work!!! The money was awesome and several of my friends from High School also worked at the mill. So we worked hard then we played hard. A lot of times I really hated working at the mill, but now I look back on those times with fond memories. Which brings me back to my story....I was searching friends and found Lydgia Anderson (now Jarvis). We used to play basketball against each other in high school and worked together at JayPe (pictured above...or at least the log yard is). When I was looking at her Facebook profile I saw she lived in Redwood City...how crazy is that? Idaho girls relocate within 10 minutes of each other. It was really cool to sit down with her and her daughter at lunch today. I really enjoyed catching up and talking about old times. The last time I had seen her she was my Sophomore year in college. She has been in the area for 7 years and I have been here for a little over 5 years and we never crossed paths. She even stops by my church everyday to drop a friend's daughter off at the church after school program....what a small world we live in!!!

Facebook= Crazy Memories and Blasts from the Past!

2009-02-06T22:07:00.000-08:00

This week I was invited to a group on Facebook called "I survived Timberline High School Weippe, Idaho". Boy has that been a trip down memory lane. I have been in contact with people hadn't talked to in more then 10 years. Not only has it been fun to connect with old friends, but it has given me an opportunity to step back and just look at my life. The things I have done, the people I have met and the person I have become through all of it. Some of it has had bitter sweet memories, but all in all I am happy with the person I have become. Not only that the journey to get here actually makes me smile....which is better then it making me cry. So here is to all the memories made and all the memories yet to come! It has been quite a ride this far and I don't expect any less in the future.

Wicked in SF

2009-02-04T11:36:00.001-08:00

I have been waiting a long time to see this Musical and last night finally got to experience the Land of Oz from a different perspective. IT WAS AWESOME! I have yet to see a Musical that I haven't enjoyed but this one right up at the top of the list. I liked the music in Jersey Boys better, but you can't beat the story line of Wicked. It reminds me that things aren't always the way they seem, so don't be so quick to judge. If you have the opportunity to see this show I wouldn't miss it! I would even like to go see it again...it was really that good!

Dogs at the Beach

2009-02-01T20:08:00.000-08:00

This weekend was a lot of fun and restful at the same time. I had a lot of time to relax. I had plans to take the dog to the beach and meet up with my friend Viv. In an interesting turn of events Zeke stayed with me so he joined Sly and I on our beach trip. It was nice to catch up with Viv, we used to meet up every weekend to walk Milo and Sly. Hopefully we can get back into this routine because it was beautiful out and I really enjoyed being at the ocean. The best part was I forgot how nice it is to have my dog so beat after spending two hours on the beach. I can say I was pretty spent myself and it was a wake up call to just how out of shape I really am.

On that note I have been having a hard time getting motivated to do anything about being in shape. Work has been busy and stressful and I sometimes feel like I never get a break from life. I have good intentions, but following through on them has never been one my strong points. I always need some sort of motivation. Well I got it yesterday and it came from my brother Todd. We have been playing phone tag for some time, but he finally caught up to me as I was in the grocery store yesterday. I had picked up some beer to watch the Superbowl today and when I told him that he told me he wasn't going to drink in the month of Feb. I thought what a great idea might even jumpstart my workout status while I am doing it. I am going to admit today was probably the toughest not only was it the first day, but it was Superbowl too. I am writing this so I am accountable. Todd will do that but by writing this I am sure my Aunt, cousins, and dear old Mom will remind me of the pledge I took with Todd!

Power of Prayer

2009-01-23T19:47:00.000-08:00

Well I as I sit down to right this many of you that know me will be like Duh this girl believes in the power of pray she was raised with it in her everyday life. Raised in it and seen it work so much that even when I wasn't following Christ the first thing I did when I found out my mother's life was in danger was to pick up the phone and called my Aunt and Uncle saying "We need Prayer." Those were the first words out of my mouth and later talking to Aunt Rhonda her first thoughts went to my brother who was at the time in the Middle East. Prayer has and will always be part of my life. But seeing it work in others life no matter how close to you they are and experiencing it first hand can be two different experiences. I don't want to say that either one less important then the other because they have both had profound effects on my life, but I just wanted to write about my recent experience. In October I surgery on my Achilles Tendon which left me in crutches for 6 weeks followed by 4 weeks of physical therapy. The first of January the Young adult community at my church had a retreat in Twain Harte, Ca. My friend is pregnant so instead of riding in the vans that go up we decided that we would take our car and ride up together. So as silly as it sounds driving can be quite the workout for a foot that hasn't had much action in months. Since the foot that was operated on was my right foot I was using it to push on the brakes or the gas and while this didn't seem to be a big deal prior to starting out the trip after 3 hours of doing this my foot was a bit aggravated to say the least. Well my friend Jenny gave me some Naproxen and I still found it difficult to sleep that night. The next morning was a fun filled day of hiking, sledding, and skiing/snowboarding. As you can well imagine none of these activities were overly appealing to me, but not wanting to be the party pooper as my Aunt Terri would call me I sucked it up and decided to go take pictures of the gang Sledding. I am so glad I did because what an experience of riding in the van with Katy who assured us that she "Does this everyday" to the watching the Californians way of snow sledding was purely entertaining (see post below). To credit Katy though she does know how to drive a van I will give her that!!! So after a pretty busy day of walking up and down the hill you can imagine how my foot was feeling. For my mother who may be reading this I want you to know that I had spoken to the doctor the week before and he told me that the pain was normal and I would probably have a lot of it for up to about 6 months or more. He had also told me if it didn't go away we could try a cortisone shot. This is something I was trying to avoid at all cost. That night we sat down to watch a video Tony had brought called the "Finger of God." I got to tell you though coming from a Pentecostal background I always find humor in how these types of movies are introduced. I experienced the same thing when attending a prayer meeting for the first time and I thought who this is so mello compared to how I was raised. I know it is out of the norm for the majority of people maybe that is why I find it so comical because it is pretty much normal in the family I was raised in so I guess I am so not part of the norm. I am very PROUD of that now. So during this movie I was in Pain I was trying to put my foot up to elevated it to take away some of the swelling and if Jenny had been in the same room I would have asked her for another Naproxen, but she wasn't she was watching the second part of the movie in another room. As the movie ended my friend Tony asked us to pray and not just pray but be bold and pray with one another. As we were all praying my friend Candice stood up and began to pray and as she prayed she prayed to take away the pain in my foot. She didn't lay hands on me she prayed from across the room. Like I said I am a firm believer in prayer but what happened next surprised even me....THE PAIN WAS GONE FOLKS!!! I didn't believe at first but as I sat there for about five minutes moving it up and down I coudn't sit by and not say anything. This doesn't sound like that big of thing, but before this I couldn't go up to my tip toes it was just too painful for me to do so. As I stood up to share the good news I stood on my tip toes without pain, I fell asleep that night without pain, I drove home then entire 3 hours without pain, today more then 2 weeks later I am WITHOUT PAIN. Praise God! I know what prayer can do I have seen it work in my family and I have had it work in me. I thank my Grandma all the time for her prays as I walked away from God there was one thing I always knew my Grandma Helen was praying that I was coming back to him. My Mom and Dad never let us leave the house for school growing up (even on the mornings we were running late) without taking our hands and praying for us! I am Grateful for that and hope to instill the same qualities in my Children one day.

President of the United States

2009-01-20T14:42:00.000-08:00

In an era where children do not include "one nation under God" in the pledge of allegiance at school I must say that I find it rather refreshing to see President Obama close his Inauguration speech "God bless you. And God bless the United States of America." I honestly can't say that I have watched other past president’s speeches, but considering that this is a historic event in American History I did watch this morning as he addressed the nation and the world. Many people don't agree with him and not everything he stands for do I agree with (then again I don't know anyone that I agree with 100%). I think that the Hope he has brought to the nation is amazing. It is hard to believe that around 50 years ago blacks were segregated and now Barack Obama is the President of the United States. It makes me proud to be an American! I pray for his and his family’s safety as he embarks on this great journey to lead our nation in such uncertain times. GOD BLESS AMERICA....let us not forget those words.

MLB Fan in the House!!

2009-01-19T20:04:00.000-08:00

Hey your favorite baseball fan is back....OK BASEBALL FREAK! Only 23 days until Pitchers and catchers report. It has to be a better season all around. I am ready for the A's to make a run again. Not sure if that will happen, but I have realized it is time for me to be back in the stands telling everyone my thoughts on how I would have done things different. I think Mom and I need to go to Wrigley Field. Not only would it be tons of fun, but maybe the healing factor I need. The past is the past and God has a reason for everything. I will admit I don't always like it, but he knows better then I do. So here is to a new and exciting baseball season! Thanks to Geremi for all the wonderful memories and being there for me during a time in my life where I needed to learn to smile again. You reminded me who I was and you are missed!

Restful Weekend

2009-01-19T19:23:00.000-08:00

This weekend was full of rest. After the exciting week I had last week I needed it. There seems to be more excitement coming my way these days then I can handle. I am not sure if it is age or just too much going on in my life. As many of you know I have been working for the Warriors NBA Photographer for this season. It sounds more glamorous then it really is, but it is a lot of fun. Even though it does push my limits with a full time job and taking care of my main main Sly I have tried to make time for myself in all of it. This can be challenging and I am learning to plan my days better. Hopefully I get better at this soon because it has been a long time since I have had to do this. Especially trying to find time for God, time for working out, time for me, time for friends, time to clean, time to sleep, and I always find time to eat. My family and I had been doing the our own version of the "the biggest loser" this past year, but we have decided to take a break from that. I fully intend to lean on them though through our off time to keep me accountable to that. I have found myself in a challenging spot especially after being injured the better part of the last last year. I am going to get in shape and hopefully be running again before I return to Idaho in May. I will have to keep thinking about that because my friend Helen is always pushing me to run a Marathon with her....probably won't go that distance, but maybe a half will be in my future. Only time will tell though. "Shoot for the moon and if you happen to fall short you will still be a star" I am not sure who said that, but I have learned to dream big!!!

Happiness

2009-01-16T09:58:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I posted my status on Facebook as "Rashell is grateful that it is my time to be happy" a few minutes later my friend Tony commented saying "Thank God for your foot." As I thought about it I have a lot to be thankful about. This past year alone God has done amazing things in my life and brought me through so much; I have become part of an amazing church community that is like family and I have an amazing family that sticks by me through thick and thin. So really what do I have to be unhappy about? As I thought about it society puts these social pressures on you and no matter how much you do it isn't enough. Why aren't you married, when are you going to have kids and if you have that what about your career, your 401k...I mean does it ever end? When will it be enough to make me happy? I was talking to my Mother’s birth mom the other day who I haven't spoken to in at least a year. The first question out of her mouth was "Have you met someone special?" I was like "NO", but I have a great job that I am good at, I have friends that love me, my dog is awesome, and I got to go home and be with my family this year to celebrate my Brothers marriage. Why is it that the only way I might be happy is if I am married? Don't get me wrong I would love to be married and have a family. I am sure God has a plan for me and I am trying to rest in that and trust that it will happen for me. If it doesn't then so be it he must have bigger things in mind for my life. One thing my parents have instilled in me is that "I would much rather wish I was married then wish I wasn't" For me marriage is a lifetime commitment that I would not enter into lightly and I won't get married for the sake of getting married or because everyone else thinks that I should. Ok now I will get off my soap box, but the point I was trying to make was that I have decided to be happy in this moment of my life. I am the only one that has control of that and I decide Happiness is the way I will go...it is so much easier then being negative all the time. I am going to trust in God and know that is plan is better then mine enjoying the moments he has given me now.

What an Amazing Birthday!!

2009-01-13T18:44:00.000-08:00

Thank you to all the amazing people in my life that made me feel so loved and blessed today. It all started last night when I went to take Sly out I found my car like this! Several text message, phone calls, Facebook wall posts I was overwhelmed with the love I was feeling. I want to thank my friends and family who made today very special. It is a tradition to wake up by a phone call from my dad and today was no different :-) After going to work in my newly decorated car I was greeted with a wonderful Birthday Cake from my "Buddy" MO. It was so cool she had taken the time to go to the bakery and get Ice Cream too. I was planning to get off work early, but even though that didn't happened I did get good news. Looking forward to hanging out with some friends for dinner I walked into my Apartment which looked like this as you look down the stairs. I never thought turning 35 would be so much fun...kind of like turning 18 all over again! Now we are off to a grown up dinner that 18 year olds probably couldn't afford...so I guess I really am 35 after all.

Fishing in Idaho!

2009-01-12T19:29:00.000-08:00

Being in Twain Harte brought back memories of home. Especially since I was talking with a friend about Idaho. It was amazing to me that someone was so intersted in the place that I grew up (because let me tell you it isn't that exciting). As I thought about it I was wondering if I would even visit if it wasn't to see my amazing family (BTW Auntie Terri I would pick you too). Then I went back and started looking for some pictures to show Drew and was wowed by nature and how spoiled I was growing up. I know you can't find this in California unless it is on a post card. So of course now I am home sick and can't wait until May to hang out with everyone. I asked Dad if he would take me fishing. Even as I write that I can see my family falling over in shock, but we are going to do it. Hopefully when I come back in from Idaho I will have some big fish pictures to share (LOL). Well maybe we can even take Baby J and show him how us "country folk" live.

We will go four wheeling, play in the creek, and hopefully get in a few rounds of Golf while I am at it. As you can see from the pictures above my last fishing trip on the North Fork was in 2003....way too much time has gone by.

Twain Harte

2009-01-11T19:20:00.000-08:00

This weekend I traveled to a small town call Twain Harte with my Young Adults small group from church. It was a lot of fun to relax, hang out with friends, and experience God in new ways. It is amazing how my church family is quickly becoming a major part of my life. I have grown as so much this year and a half and the feelings of hopelessness and being alone have diminished. I will have to write more on that, but at a time when I am less tired.

I couldn't wait to post this for all my Idaho folks who have grown up in the snow. I went sledding in California for the first time this weekend and it is NOTHING like how we do it at home. It was fun, but different. As you can see there was a gentleman with a pool "flotation device" in his hand coming up to go sledding. I was like "YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME....but as you can all see I was not.
Just when I thought is couldn't get any crazier then it already was as I was leaving there was a family setting by the roadside BBQing??? Well I guess it isn't any different then hot dogs and marshmellows around the camp fire at the bottom of the sledding hill....being from Idaho though it seems more normal then pulling out the grill in the grass at the bottom of the sledding hill. Then again when have you seen so many people on one hill in Idaho with so little snow sledding.....I guess it is a matter of perspective. We would never drive that far for this...then again I should just be thankful they weren't charging a fee to use the hill. I am always learning something new in Cali even after 11 years!

Blogging is my New Goal in 2009

2009-01-08T13:43:00.000-08:00

Since I have enjoyed my cousin Tori's blog spot so much I figured I would give it a shot in 2009. If nothing else it will give me a reason to try and do something exciting with my life because who really wants to hear about my recent obsession with Heroes? As I wasn't a champ of keeping up to date with our family blog "the Tub Tub club" this might prove to be more then a bit of a challenge for me. I will do my best Auntie Terri, but you know how that goes. I will do my best because I know that my mother always wants to know what is going on in Sly's life (LOL)

I am going to post this short message and send out the website so I am looking forward to blogging again soon!!