My Daughters Laugh!!

Just when I think I am through wondering why I do what I do I hear infectious laughter come from my daughter's room. Her and her dad are upstairs doing whatever it is that makes her giggle from her belly. I have been praying a lot lately about my future where it will take us and was reminded today by a friend that my prayer is flawed. Instead of praying for God to remove the obstacles I should really be praying for strength and guidance to conquer the mountain I need to climb to get to the other side. A different friend encouraged me with this "God has everyday planned out for us. Why fret and worry about tomorrow if it is all planned out anyway? EVERY DETAIL of the day is already planned." I am not in control God is, yes he allows me to make my own decisions but he wants me to chose to follow him and let him be in control. He will not force his will on me he wants me to ask for his will and let him take control of every situation. Why do I find that so hard to understand? So many times thinking I know more than God does? I am reminded daily of just how awesome of a God I serve at 37 I never thought I would have a child of my own and he stepped in and said see what I can do? She is my joy! Also a reminder that we shouldn't put God in a box...I am guilty of this everyday. I pray for God to give me the strength to overcome and not run away. "The harder the conflict the more glorious the triumph." With God on our side we will have that triumph!!

New Year = New Start

When thinking about the title of my post I realize that everyday is a new start and a blessing from God. I didn't set a New Year's resolution this year but instead to set a goal each day as to want to accomplish. It took some time for me to really decide on what I wanted to do and come to realize I feel so much failure when I set resolutions only to not see them come full circle.My message from God App today said "You have to face problems however difficult they are. Having the bravery to face your difficulties is the hardest step; working through the problem is often easier than you think. The first step is always the hardest." Most the time I take on a task and instead of taking baby steps and focus on the finish line. Don't get me wrong I am not saying you shouldn't have long term goals, but for me sometimes I take on too much too soon instead of trusting God and enjoying the process. Today as I was at the park with my daughter I just sat back and enjoyed watching her run, slide, and swing. I loved that it brought her so much joy. Life's simple pleasures all to often get missed by day to day stress. The stress of finding a new job, paying bills, what to do for dinner, or just keeping up with the Jones never crossed my mind. As I realized this I realized how happy I truly am at this point in my life. Everything isn't close to perfect and I have a lot on my plate, but I am praying, trusting and believing God has a plan and it is bigger than anything I could ever imagine. I have spent the last 40 years of my life trying to control everything, make things perfect, or the way I think they should be. You know what it hasn't worked and I have be unhappy doing it. So I have a new approach, it's God turn and I want his will in my life whatever that might be. Am I afraid sometimes? Everyday, but I know I am in good hands. This is the first time in a long time I have even signed onto blogger. Today as I did I was thinking in my head that I am going to do this everyday and use it as my journal, but then thoughts of failure and not being true to that crossed my mind. So I started to write and decided that I am going to take one day at a time, enjoy this time with my daughter, and document moments as often as I can. Sharing blessing, failures, successes, and frustrations. Starting there and seeing where it leads!!