Charlize Renae Kinard-Davis

On November 12, 2011 my life changed forever and I experienced what my family likes to call "THE BIG LOVE" My daughter Charlie was born and true to form for her momma she didn't come into this world without a little drama (Go figure).
I was due on November 5th and my mom arrived in town on November 7th the evening before my next doctor's appointment. When we went to the appointment Tuesday morning I had expressed concern that the baby wasn't as active as she had been in the past so my MD scheduled a non stress test. Mom and I went directly to the hospital from my appointment and my amniotic fluid was around 9.3 and anything under 10 was considered low so I was schedule for another stress test on Friday morning if she didn't come before then. So we started the waiting game which grandma wasn't very good at. I had another MD appointment on Thursday and now looking back I say my Doctor jinxed me because she told me I had a 6 or 7 LBS baby that was in great position so once she decides to come it should go smooth.

In the mean time my Auntie Terri had asked what the number of the amniotic fluid meant and of course I had no clue. Friday morning came and we had to be at the hospital by 8am and in order to pass the time and have pretty toes for delivery mom and I were going to get our toes done after my appointment. When we got to the hospital we had the same nurse as we did before and while she was doing the test I asked her the question that my Auntie had asked me and she told me that anything at 5 or below and I wouldn't be going home. Then in the next breath told me I was at 5.3 and she didn't think I was going home, but she had to call the MD. I forgot to mention that this was on 11/11/11 so when they decided to induce me grandma got excited. I called Charlie's dad LeNorris right before he walked into a job interview and looking back maybe I should have waited until after he was done because I know he worried the entire time. We drove back to the house to pick up my stuff while they got the paperwork ready for me to be admitted to the hospital and checked into the hospital.
LeNorris had surgery on his foot the Tuesday that I had the non stress test so he was in a lot of pain. He came by the hospital after his interview to make sure I was ok...he had to see it with his own eyes. Then I sent him home to rest and mom and I started the longest wait of my life. We played cribbage and she made Charlie a blanket and nothing happened. The biggest excitement which wasn't really good was Charlie kept rolling over on her umbilical cord and cutting off her oxygen supply since my fluid was low so they would have to roll me over in different positions to move her off of it. When the doctor came in at 4pm on Saturday nothing had changed since we checked in Friday morning and she told us we probably wouldn't have the baby until tomorrow. So I called LeNorris and told him to stay home and rest since he was in pain. Later he told me he thought I didn't want him there and I felt bad.

So after getting my head around nothing was going to happen and I was stuck in the hospital for yet another day between 5-5:30pm I really had to go to the bathroom. Since I was being induce they had to check me before letting me go in even though the doctor had just been in at 4pm and checked me. The nurse was surprised to find that I was at 4cm, but said it was fine for me to use the restroom. When I finished and came out I was in a lot of pain. I asked for drugs and when I would be able to get an epidural. So the anesthesiologist was called and I thought I was in for a drug induced comfortable night...I was wrong! After struggling to get the epidural I was told I could use the bathroom after they inserted the catheter, but Miss Charlie decided it was time for her to come into the world right then. Unfortunately she didn't handle the contractions at this time and we had to have an emergency C-Section. After getting in the O.R. I found out the epidural didn't work, so after trying to restart it then poking me 3 to 4 times for a spinal tap and being unsuccessful I had to be put under general anesthesia for the delivery. Below is Charlie and my first picture together though I was not aware of it.

After being in the hospital for 6 days I was ready to get home, but after being let go I found myself back in the hosptial again the next day with complications. Needless to say it was a difficult process to recovery, but my little princess was worth it all. I love her so much!

Blessings!

I heard this song by Laura Story a few weeks ago called Blessings.
The words go:
We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near?

What if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?

I wonder how many times I have been so focused on what I want and what I am not getting that I have missed the blessing that are right in front of me. It was a nice reminder that just because Life isn't the way we planned it doesn't mean God has forgot about us it just means he has bigger things in store.

The past few months I have found myself in the Why me? mode and it has just been the past few weeks I have come to realize the blessing God has given me. I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring or most days how I am going to make it with a child, but I know that if I leave it in God's hands it will work out how he intended.

So now I am a little over a week until I find out what we are having and I can't wait to find out if it is a boy or a girl. Everyone keeps asking me what I want and the truthful answer is I really don't care I just want to know one way or the other. Grandma and Grandpa Kinard along with Daddy are hoping for a boy. There are mixed feelings between my friends some say they think a Boy other a girl. I pray we will know on June 20th...baby needs to not be shy if it is going to survive in this family.

Blessed to be an American!

I was spending my after lunch time looking through Facebook updates and it broke my heart to see some of the posted that people have put up there. I realize that most of the people that are posting have never left the country let alone spent time in a 3rd world country. I didn't grow up rich but I never went without and I can say that I never went WEEK let alone months without meat. My day doesn't consist of planning my one and only meal for the day. Most of the people if they do get one meal a day feel very lucky! So it may not make a lot of sense to many people because we have government programs that cloth, feed, and send children to school. Americans many times choose not to eat, get educated, or go to the doctor because of pride not because it isn't available to them.

My Little Fur Babies

Well there have been a lot of changes in my household lately, but the one my fur babies love the most is having a man around the house. If you didn't think they could get spoiled any more then they already were think again. LeNorris has been a God sent when it comes to taking care of "the boys" as they are so fondly known around the house. He takes them for walks at least once a day and shows them a ton of attention that "mommy" just hasn't been up to showing them the past few months. I have yet to get a picture of it, but it is pretty funny to see my boyfriend who is rather large rolling around town with 2 Shih Tzu's at his side, but he loves it just as much as they do.

We are having a baby!

Well to say it has been a crazy year is kind of an understatement. After returning from Africa I had a lot of health problems and after several tests in February was given a clean bill of health. After all of that I still wasn't feeling my best and after some encouragement from my Aunt Terri took a pregnancy test and found out I was expecting. This was a complete shock considering last month my OB had told me that this would be near impossible at my age....Just goes to show you that the doctor isn't always right. We keep going back and forth about the due date so it is sometime between Nov 7 and Nov 17. I am banking on Nov 17th and I just have a big baby in there considering that daddy measures in at 6'6.

What is Happiness?

There are many answers to that question depending on who you ask. Today while I was driving to work I was pondering a saying that I wrote down a few weeks ago "Happiness does not come from seeking new landscapes but from having new eyes on the same life you've always been living" We are a very blessed people after my trip to Africa I am ashamed at the amount of stuff I have. Then I started to think most of the people that live in Jos Nigeria. They are just happy if they have a meal everyday, a roof over head, and warm clothes during the winter months. I wonder how many people here in America would be happy with just that? Not many that I know of, even the homeless and poverty stricken have more then those people do. The sad thing is we still aren't happy. Then add the job, the car, the money and we want more. I don't want to be so busy seeking the material things that I forget what I am really here for...to seek more of God! Enjoy time with family, stop and smell the roses, live in the day. I find myself so caught up with the worries of tomorrow that I forget to stop and enjoy the blessings of today.

Yesterday when I received this picture of my niece it was all I needed to make me happy. It reminded me to live in the moment and be thankful for what I have not upset over the things I don't!

Who is holding the bubbles in your life??

I had posted a link to this story last year and today was touched by it again! I don't want to be the one holding the bubbles:

Holding On, by Cathy Huffer, Back2Back Mexico Staff
By Back2Back

Marcos
This is Marcos. Recently we blew bubbles together. I purposely held the bubbles so they wouldn’t spill. After just a short bit it became quite apparent that he wanted to hold the bubbles. I started out with a simple “no”. However, our struggle grew and I realized this little guy was quite determined. So I began my explanation of what could happen if I gave him the bubble bottle. He seemed unimpressed and kept fighting me for the bubbles. As stubborn as I can be, I finally caved and let him have the bubbles. Just as I expected, he spilled the bubbles all down the front of his shirt as the bottle fell to the ground spilling out on the ground around it.

Later that night God brought this back to my memory. As I recalled the sequence of events, He spoke these truths to my heart. Often I am like Marcos, wanting so badly to hold onto a situation, a relationship, control over my loved ones, a career, whatever it may be. As long as it is in the Lord’s hands, I can dip my wand in the bubbles and enjoy. However the moment I grab things back and take control, things begin to get messy. I find if I try and manipulate the situation around me when I know God has something different in mind, things get messy. I’ve seen it in my teen years when I wanted a relationship to last longer even after God told me to let it go, or when I thought I knew making more money would make me happier and it didn’t, and now wishing things were different with my mom and not wanting to feel the hurt. God wants differently. God wants to be in control and asks me to trust. Who’s holding the bubbles in your life?

Original link: http://back2backministries.wordpress.com/2010/10/19/holding-on/