Baseball!

This last weekend was spent at the ball park and I forgot how happy that time makes me. The weather was great, my friend Dayna was down from Sacramento and we started out in seats that were great (as you can see in the picture to the right). I always joke with my mom about becoming a seat snob because when I first moved to California I was just excited to be at the game. As time went by that changed first I started dating Geremi and and since he was at the ball park every day when we were together that usually ment I was also....the good part about that was he always got me great seats. When we broke up going back to sitting in the cheap seats was kind of painful so I started paying the extra money to sit in the better seats at baseball games. Then Dayna started working for the Kings and it went from bad to worse because now NBA games were not the same when you sit in the the upper deck. Thank goodness for those connections (LOL)...One of Dayna's bosses text messaged her minutes before opening pitch and told her there were tickets at will call for her.

As you can see in the picture with Giambi's back in it the seats were right on the field on the first base line....HOW AM I GOING TO GO BACK TO SITTING IN THE STANDS?

Just kidding I just enjoy being at the game. I did learn my lesson when my mom came to watch the Cubs play against the SF Giants....don't sit in the good seats the first night then take her out to the bleachers the second night because when it gets cold we will want to go home since the seats aren't as good as the ones we were sitting in the night before. Yes I am turning my Mother into a seat snob too!!!

April Showers Bring May Flowers!!!

I think my Grandma Helen used to say that to me a lot then on May Day (May 1st) I remember picking the wild flowers that the rain had made and taking them to one of our neighbors in Judgetown. I think the excitement of going home in 2 weeks coupled with the fact that this month has been tough has brought back a lot of reflection of childhood! It makes me smile that when I was in High school I couldn't wait to get the out of Pierce I was going anywhere but there. Now I cherish every moment that I had there. I remember thinking about graduating from High School a year early and Nick Ausman sat me down in the High School Gym and told me that I didn't realize it now, but I would look back and wish I hadn't missed out on that last year of high school. He was right (Like most adults usually are)! It is hard to explain to someone who has never been where I grew up, but it was an almost magical place and time. What do I mean by that? Well I don't think I would ever want to make Pierce my permanent residence ever again, but it is always going to be home. It was a very different way to grow up and even though I didn't always like it then I really appreciate it now. Getting in touch with some of my old friends has made me remember you can't take away any of those moments of swimming in the creek, playing in the woods until dark, or golfing all summer long with my Aunt and Grandpa for $75. I would be lucky to get 2 rounds of 18 for that price now :-). I guess what my short story made long was trying to say I am looking forward to going home....only 2 weeks to go. I am sure 24 hours into the trip I will be ready to "go back to where things are normal" but I am looking forward to spending time with family and friends. Who cares that they don't have an ATM machine there isn't anything to buy in the first place :-)

Updates

Well a lot has gone on since my last post but the most important thing is that yesterday was opening day of Baseball season (ok that isn't the most important thing, but it makes me smile)!

On March 25th the company I work for Genentech was bought out by a privately owned Swiss company Roche. Everyone wants to know what that means...at the moment I don't know! Prior to the buyout Roche actually already owned 56% of our publicly traded stock, so technically they already owned us. So now DNA is no longer traded on Wall Street and we will continue to operate under the name of Genentech in the US. From what I have heard so far it seems highly likely I will still have a job at the end of the year, but nothing is set in stone. I will keep you up to date.

I keep telling Mom that if I do get laid off I am going to move to Idaho with her and Dad until I figure things out. Of course Dad is thrilled and I think Mom is secretly praying that I am joking!! (Good thing that Aunt Terri said I always had a room at her house) I keep saying that I have been thinking about a career change and this would be my perfect opportunity to become a Baseball Scout :-)

Another reason for the delay in blog postings is Mr. Sly Man has once again fallen ill. I am hoping we have found the cause of it...Colitis but I am not holding my breath until he comes off of both antibiotics and is eating without problems again. The funny thing is (or not so funny thing) when I take him to the vet the first thing out of their mouth is "He doesn't act sick" that of course is before they look in the bag I brought with me. The crazy dog loves going to the Vet and if I didn't know better I would think that he "pretends" to be sick just so he can go in.

Looking forward to Easter Weekend...

Address in the Stars!!

I heard this song on the way back from the Warriors game tonight and fell in love with it....

verse 1: i stumbled across your picture today i could barely breathe the moment stopped me cold and grabbed me like a thief i dialed your number but you wouldnt be there i knew the whole time but its still not fair i just wanted to hear your voice i just needed to hear your voice

chorus: what do i do with all i need to say so much i wanna tell you everyday though it breaks my heart i cry these tears in the dark i write these letters to you but they get lost in the blue cause theres no address in the stars

verse 2: now im drivin through the pitch black dark im screaming at the sky oh cause it hurts so bad everybody tells me oh all i need is time then the mornin rolls in and it hits me again light aint nothin but a lie


chorus: what do i do with all i need to say so much i wanna tell you everyday though it breaks my heart i cry these tears in the dark i write these letters to you but they get lost in the blue cause theres no address in the stars

verse 3: without you here with me i dont know what to do id give anything just to talk to you though it breaks my heart oh it breaks my heart all i can do is write these letters to you but theres no address in the stars

What If????

I am not a one who is big about dwelling on this question "What If?", but lately it has been in my head a lot. I believe that things happen for a reason and that there is a season for everything, so when this question started popping up in my head it really has been bothering me. Am I questioning God's Plan for my life? I don't think that is it, but I have really been convicted about what a control freak I am. I need to let that go...but for now I will get back on topic!!!

What if...well I think a lot of it has to do with the one year anniversary of Jeremi's death. It is just amazing to me how someone can come into your life for such a short period of time and have such a BIG IMPACT on it. I met Jeremi about a year after getting out of a 3 1/2 year long miserable relationship. My self esteem was in the gutter and Beer had become one if not the only major food group in my life. My friends were worried, I cried, I drank to stop crying which would lead me to cry even more which lead me to drink more...you get the picture. I was on a downhill spiral and I didn't know which way was up. One weekend in an attempt to cheer my friend's son up I took all of us to a baseball game where I met Jeremi for the first time. When I first met him I really thought it was a weekend of fun and baseball, but it turned out to be a year long romance that taught me a lot about myself. Up until that point I really let people determine the way I felt about myself...was I good enough, pretty enough, smart enough....I let the outside world tell me what I was. Jeremi showed me to be ME no matter what others thought...I think that is what I miss about him the most. Well that and he always made me laugh. When I was with him I felt like a Queen and that we were the only two people in the world. He realized what was important to me and was interested in that too whether it was my family or the work. Things did come to an end...the Baseball lifestyle of seeing each other once a month wasn't for me and I wasn't ready to give up my career to be with him all the time, so we parted ways. It wasn't the last time our paths crossed though. It is very interesting that he popped back into my life at the end of a very messy break up with "cube dude." His timing was impeccable and just what I needed at that point in time. Wouldn't you know it he showed up out of the blue again totally unexpected. If I would have know that would be the last time we would meet in person on this earth there are a lot of things I would have said to him that I didn't say.

Lesson learned we aren't promised tomorrow so don't let things go unsaid that need to be heard. You never know if that was the one thing that person needed in their life at that moment in time. Did Jeremi know how much he means to me? That I will never know and if I had it to do all over again there are some things I would have done differently....I don't say that about a lot of things because I believe that experiences form us into the people we become. I do know that he was a ray of light in one of the darkest moments in my life and I always thought our paths would cross again some day so that I could thank him for that. God had a different plan and I trust it is the best one for me. Even so my heart still aches and tears fall from my eyes when the question WHAT IF....enters my brain when it comes to Jeremi Gonzalez.

How Time Flies....

Well it has been a long time since I got on here and updated everyone with what is going on in my life. The past two months at work have been very challenging as the project that I am working on filed an IND submission to the FDA this last Friday. What that means for me was several reports (5 to be exact) that needed reviewing, revised, reviewed again, justified why the results were interrupted the way they were then revised and reviewed again. Getting final signatures two weeks ago which was only 2 weeks behind when they were originally suppose to be done. Through all of this I learned a lot, about myself, my coworkers, and just how everyone on that team came together and really supported one another to make it all come together. It was a lot of hard work, but something I am actually really proud of.

Just as I thought things at work were starting to settle down this last week we got new that Genentech (the company I work for) and Roche (our Swiss counterpart) agreed to a merger. I am really sad about this because I really like the company I work for as it is. We were not in any kind of trouble...Roche just got Greedy and wanted to make more money off GNE then it already does. The part I really have a hard time with is not knowing what will happen next. I had found myself in a very unique situation considering the economy. I really haven't had to worry about job security....well until this week. It puts life in an entirely new perspective. I will be ok no matter what happens, but just not knowing really drives me crazy. It is very unsettling and there are so many people going through it. So it will be interesting to see what the next few months bring.

When and what makes you feel afraid???

This very interesting question or questions you might say has been brought up to me several times this month. It has really made me think and feel very fortunate that I don't feel afraid that often. Especially in the state that the world is in today. I do have one HUGE fear. That is the fear of losing a part of me and forgetting where I come from. Moving to California from Idaho was a big change for me. I grew up in a town of ~600 people where there wasn't even a stop light. Everyone knew you and looked out for you...that or they waited for you to screw up so they could be the ones to tell your parents. The cool thing about all of it was everyone was really down to earth. They say there is safety in numbers and when I look at it from that perspective even though 600 people is small for the size of a town it is HUGE when it comes down to the number of people that have your back. Yeah not everyone would have my back but a big majority of the people would and to me that is saying something!! So even though I drive 10 minutes to the doctor’s office instead of and 1 hour and a half and I could have McDonald's for every meal now. I wouldn't want to lose that small down girl from Idaho who really cares about people more then the things she has, the job she does or money she spends. So to all my homies if you see that girl drifting away feel free to give me a swift kick in the head!!! And to my mom… I might be "cityfied", but I am an Idaho girl at heart and always will be :-)