Question???? Or should I say Questions???

Ok I don't mean to be silly and stupid and I hope it doesn't come off that way...but recently I have been feeling that my heart is full, but empty at the same time! That doesn't make a lot of sense to me. The fulfillment that I get from my relationship with God and his unconditional love is the full part, but I still sometimes feel lonely and empty. Should that really happen?

Am I expecting too much? I am at a very good place in my life and everything is going great and I think at one time I mentioned that I was kind of waiting for something Bad to happen because 2010 has just been wonderful to me. So what is my problem and why am not satisfied??? Am I greedy? Will we always want more then we already have? It is just so tiring and I wish I knew the answer to these questions. I dream of slowing down and at the same time I don't feel as if I really do anything. Ok now I am feeling like a walking contradiction...anyone have any feedback I would love to hear!

Really I am going to have to deal with Monday twice this week???

Well I have had such an interesting night....I took a nap this afternoon around 5pm and when I woke up at 7:30 I thought it was AM not PM. So I went through my usual morning routine, taking the dogs out, showering, getting dressed, everyone taking their meds, and I even remembered to pay the dog walker. Something didn't feel right when I wrote the check...I looked at my watch to find out the date and it said 18th. I could of swore that Monday was the 19th...so I checked my Blackberry and it also said the 18th. Weird maybe I looked at the calendar wrong??? So as I give the dogs their treat and carry down way too much stuff to my car (I thought I was early for work so I would mail Drea a package) I realized it was really dark out for 8am in the morning. Yet I still get in my car and head to work....what no traffic??? I call my Mom which is a normal morning ritual and she is reading a book....I ask her if my clocks are right because they say 8 o'clock and it's dark out. She tells me that my clocks are correct. I tell her that I am heading to work and all she says is you work too much...that is something she says all the time so I didn't think anything about it. I asked Mom if Dad was up...this should have been her first if not 100th clue that I thought it was morning because my Dad works Graveyard so he is always up at 8pm at night....still I got nothing from her. So as I am driving up Ralston getting ready to get on the Freeway I call my Dad and tell him I am headed to work. The first words out of his mouth are "at 8"??? I replied what do you mean? He says "Sis it is 8pm Sunday night" as those words came out of his mouth it all made sense. The only thing I couldn't figure out was why my mom didn't mention this to me in the first place. He couldn't believe it either, but then I remember she was reading a book so all she probably really heard was blah, blah, blah.

Well my brother Todd called me about a half hour later and when I told him this story he was busting up with laughter. It made my day to hear him laugh! See with everything going on these days we all keep in touch but it is usually through text, Facebook, email, or voicemail. I loved hearing his voice and as I laid down to try to go back to sleep I realized how much I miss my family. People wonder why I treat my dogs the way I do or go to such extremes for them, but they make me feel as if I have a family to come home to it the closest thing I have here. Don't get me wrong I have it great here, I am happy, have a great job, great community that cares for me, and nothing really to complain about. In fact I was thinking also that I don't think I have been in such a good place in a very long time.....the only thing missing from that equation was my family.

So yeah sometimes I get a little sad, but don't worry I am happy and I am not saying that to convince myself that it is true I am really happy and have wonderful friends. You know there is a but coming up....But had that story happened when my family was here my brothers would have been saying "She is the Slow one" and my Aunt and/or My Mom would have said "Well it's a good thing she is slow or we wouldn't have been able to keep up with her" and in the end we would all be rolling around laughing together because I really thought it was Monday morning on Sunday night. I miss that even though I know we are all laughing in our own little sections of the world I miss Laughing, Fighting, Crying or whatever crazy things we do together as a FAMILY!

I am going to Mexico!!

I am so excited to be going to Mexico not for a vacation but on a missions trip the end of June. Twenty 28 people from my Church are going with Back2Back ministries to Monterrey, Mexico to serve 10 orphanages. This is something I have always wanted to do and never made the time for. Beth Guckenberger who serves with her family in Monterrey, Mexico came to our church and spoke. She told us of her journey of being a full time missionary and her story along with countless others she spoke of touched my heart. I walk out that Sunday and purchased her book called Reckless Faith Let Go and Be Lead. I came home and as many other books it set on my table waiting to be read. One night I picked it up and couldn't put it down as the tears rolled I read until about 2am when I realized I needed to be at work the next day. Her speaking and this book really touched my heart, but the few times I had tried to go on a mission trip it just didn't work out. Within a few days I received an email from my Youth pastor Tony and it was so random that the last paragraph of the email was about going to Mexico on a missions trip and to contact Dain for information. Well at the time I had only met Dain once and it was in a large group of people, but I emailed him and asked if there was still room on the trip. Long story short it all worked out there were many hiccups along the way and I could have walked away and not made the effort. I didn't God has touched my heart for these Children and I am so excited to go and serve them, bless them and do what ever God leads our group to do.

More to come as the trip gets closer we will be leaving June 26th and returning July 2nd...please keep this trip in your prayers. If you want to know more about the organization check out the website at http://www.back2backministries.org/

My Invisalign adventure...

pretty much sucks, but I will have straight teeth for the first time in my life. I can already feel the difference in my bite and I have only been doing the treatment since the beginning of March. I never had bad teeth hygiene, but I was a terrible at flossing. Mainly because the floss would get stuck in my bottom teeth, sometimes shred, and sometime break. What does this have to do with anything? Well I spent my Saturday Morning at Walgreen's insanity buying $20 of floss and toothpaste. Even though I wanted to scream at a few customers "it's only $1 maybe you should read the sale signs better" who would have ever thought the following sentence would come out of my mouth? I love to brush, floss, and waterpik my teeth at the very least 4 times a day.....I am going to have great gum health after all! I guess as much as my adventure pretty much sucks I have got more out of it then just straight teeth.

Making Career Advancing Decisions???

A career isn't what it used to be. Who has a job and a life anymore? If you want to make it up the corporate ladder you have to sacrifice some of your personal decisions in order to get the visibility and exposure you need to make it to the next level. Playing the career game means learning the rules and making tough decisions. When is enough, enough? Even when you aren't being asked to make the sacrifice if you don't you will be making a career limiting move by passing up on the opportunity. Oh yeah you always hear there are a lot of other opportunities that are going to be coming up. Until I see it I don't believe it because I have been made those promises before and I have yet to reap the benefits of those "empty" promises.

By now my Mom is reading this and freaking out...don't worry Mom I am not missing any weddings, births, or other family events. (I have learned my lesson missing Summer's wedding I will never live that down)

When Should I take a job that pays less because it means more or you will have more of your own time? How do I know when it's time to say no? How do I know when it's time to go?

Is it worth letting people down, not making plans, and/or hurting the ones you love to stay on top? In my case pay my Vet bills (just kidding kind of)...but when it's you making a living on your own sometimes you feel as if you have to do what you have to do to make that happen.

Can't we have a healthy Household???

So as Sly gets better, I end up with a respiratory infection followed by an asthma attach which has kept me in bed for the better part of three days. The funny part is I haven't had a serious attack since I left Idaho, so I had forgot what a big pain in the butt not being able to breath is.

It looks as if we are all on the mend and should start packing our stuff soon. I hope not to get distracted by being able to stream Netflix on my Wii. I am going to have to get a little more discipline then this.

Also I have decided to go on a mission to Monterrey Mexico the end of June. I will post more as I have more information, but I am very excited about it. The only thing I am looking forward to more is the birth of my niece Lily Grace. What an exciting Summer!

Catch up! March/April

I started my Invisalign the first of March and boy has it been an adjustment. Just about the time I am getting use to them the tray gets switched out and we start all over. It has been very interesting first my teeth were sooo close together it hurt to floss and now I have to about 3 or 4 times a day. Second I have a fear of public bathrooms thanks to my Grandma Helen and I find myself having to brush my teeth in them now. We have went from Grandma saying "Don't touch anything" to being able to brush my teeth in there BIG ADJUSTMENT for me HUGE!

I am also start to pack my things up once again, but I am excited and looking forward to living on the ground floor again. I am just waiting for them to put in the new carpet and kitchen counters. I will have a garage which isn't big enough for my car, but great space for all my brew stuff. I am looking forward to a new adventure and be done with these stupid Realtors bringing strangers through my house all the time. It amazes me how people have no respect for other peoples stuff. I am just about at the end of my rope, but there is a light at the in of the tunnel. I will definitely miss Belmont and this area, but I am not that far away. Besides the new place has a lot more room so I can have more people over!

The Art of the Homebrew!

Well ok maybe not so much the art, but a big huge Science project going on in my back room. I am having so much fun with it before St. Patty's day I found myself in a spot I had never been before. I had so much beer I didn't know what to do with it. The problem with that is all I wanted to do was brew more....quick fix??? Have a party! So 909 Academy became the Homebrew Bar....Aftan and Jeff set up a corner of their house to look like an actual Bar. It was so much fun and everyone really liked the Beer which of course what an ego booster for me. So now that I have some room we are back to brewing and bottling this weekend. Excited to see how the new beers turn out!

It's a Dog's Life

Well after years of being sick and the last few months of WAY TOO many vet visits Sly has IBD (same as Crohn's disease in humans). It has been a rough couple of months, but I think we can say he is on the mend. Right now he is not as energetic as usual, but they say that is due to the steroids. He is starting to come off them, but it will probably still be a few months. He will be all ready to go home for his trip to Idaho. Beware he can't have anything no matter how cute he looks to you. Feed Nick if you want, but the person responsible for feeding Sly will have to take him for a month and pay the Vet Bills....which mean I am just going to have to watch him like a Hawk at all times.